Page 27 of Dear Roomie
“Hi.” The tentative word breaks the silence.
That’s it? That’s all he has to say? I open my mouth to tell him exactly what I think of that, but a whispered “Hi” is all that comes from me too.
The awkwardness is palpable, filling the space between us and locking us in place. Neither one of us is quite sure what to do next. This isn’t nearly as easy as it was before; now there are expectations.
Fuck, this was a bad idea.
A shrill beeping from the oven breaks the silence and snaps Morgan into action.
“I made us a pizza,” he shouts over his shoulder as he jumps from the couch and moves into the kitchen. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to join me, but I figured I might as well have food just in case. You fed me last time, so it’s only fair. I got us cheese because I wasn’t sure what you liked, and cheese is safe. Do you like pizza? If you don’t, I can order something else.”
His rambling catches me off guard. It’s endearing. I don’t know his mannerisms or quirks yet, but if they are this cute, I want to learn them.
“Yes, I like pizza.”
His smile grows larger at my answer, and I swear my heart does a backflip. Morgan is looking at me like my simple answer made his whole day, and I don’t know how to process it other than to smile back.
Tanner has never cooked for me—if you count sticking a frozen pizza in the oven as cooking—and he certainly has never looked at me like that. Especially over something as stupid as confirming I liked pizza. Honestly, who doesn’t?
With a few careful cuts, he slices the cheesy pie and plates a few pieces for each of us. That carefree smile never once wavers. He doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence, and, surprisingly, I don’t want him to. It’s comfortable, which is odd; long gaps of silence normally make my skin crawl.
The moment gives me time to get my head on straight and push the feelings Morgan stirred back into the recesses of my mind. I take a centering breath and start to count backward in my head. The coping mechanism works, and my heart slows to its normal rhythm, but this isn’t a panic attack. My heart may be racing, but it’s in anticipation, not fear.
He carries the plates back to the living room and sets them on the coffee table. Then he takes the same seat he did the other night, as far to the side as he can possibly sit, leaving plenty of room between us. I’m not sure what I would do if he sat any closer; I don’t think I could handle it.
“Are you joining?” He grabs the remote and turns the TV on without waiting for my response.
I don’t answer but let Grover off his leash and hang it on the hook by the door. Grover immediately trots over to the couch, jumps onto the empty spot next to Morgan, and excitedly licks all over his face.
The fucking traitor. Since when have they been friends? Grover doesn’t like anybody but me and Evelyn. He’s not aggressive or anything, he just doesn’t like most people in his space.
“Hey, boy, missed you today.” Morgan scratches behind my dog’s ears and accepts the overzealous affection without any hint of annoyance.
My heart melts a little at the sight, but I don’t say anything. With Morgan’s attention fully occupied, I make my way over to the couch and squeeze myself as far as I can into the opposite corner. Grover starts to calm down, freeing Mogan’s hands, but stays glued to his side. My roommate glances at me from the corner of his eye and presses play without a word.
Neither one of us speaks once the movie starts, and we lapse back into the comfortable silence. I make a point of keeping my eyes locked on the screen as the movie plays out, but I’m keenly aware of Morgan’s presence. The air between us is charged, connecting us with currents of energy, and my skin tingles with awareness every time he moves to adjust his position, sending waves of goose bumps along my skin.
The credits start to roll, and for the first time since he hit play, I look over at him. He has his bare feet propped up on the table, and Grover has crawled completely into his lap. He pets my dog with a dopey smile on his face, looking happier than I’ve ever seen him.
Fuck,I’mhappier than I’ve been in a long time, and I’m not ready for it to end yet.
“So you said we could watch more of your nerd show another time. I think this counts as another time.” I bite my lip as I wait for his answer.
His eyes widen and shine with wonder. “You really want to watchMerlinwith me?”
“I don’t have any other plans.” I shrug, feigning indifference. I can’t let him see how badly I want this.
“All right, sure.” He flashes a blinding smile and grabs for the remote. “I’m going to start us over from the beginning. That way you can get the whole story.” The screen comes alive with new movement.
We aren’t even halfway through the episode when my phone rings. That sweet sense of serenity is ripped away from me as Tanner’s tone plays. I hadn’t realized how content I was until every drop of peace is wrung from my body. My gut hardens as a wave of guilt and dread washes over me. For the second time in a few short weeks, I want to hit decline; I want to stay out here with Morgan until I can’t keep my eyes open a second longer.
I hold up my phone and try to beg Morgan with my eyes to tell me what to do. Seeing my expression, he winces as his face falls, and a resigned sadness shines in his eyes. Disappointment washes over me as he nods his head toward the bedroom.
I want him to tell me to stay here.
I want him to be an excuse for me not to have to deal with Tanner tonight.
I want him to fight for me, even though he has no right to.
