Page 26 of Dear Roomie
“But what about your show? It was actually kind of cool for being nerd shit.”
“If you liked it, we can plan to watch it together another time. Right now, you are going to walk into the living room and put on that movie.” My commanding tone leaves no room for argument.
“Yes sir,” she says and freezes. A deep blush spreads across her cheeks as her eyes grow comically wide, and she scurries off to the living room.
Those two words set my heart into overdrive as it thumps wildly in my chest, and my whole body tightens with awareness. I stall for several seconds, willing my body to calm down, and then join her on the couch, choosing the seat furthest away from her. I’ve spent too much time in her space today, and it’s messing with my head. She gets the movie playing, and like before, she’s mesmerized by the on-screen action within minutes. I force myself to watch the movie and not her reactions to it.
Comfortable silence hangs between us. It’s so different from the oppressive pressure I felt when we were in the same position before Tanner arrived. The oven’s timer beeps, and James pauses the TV while she prepares our bowls. I offer her a soft “thank you” as she places the dish on the coffee table in front of me, which earns me another beautiful smile. I dig in, savoring each morsel, but she barely gets three bites in before she drifts to sleep and lets out a soft snore.
I chuckle and pause the movie so she doesn’t miss anything. The couch shifts as I get up, and I wince, not wanting to disturb her, before grabbing the bowl from her hand. There isn’t a huge mess, but I clean up in the kitchen and put the leftovers away. Once that’s done, I go back to check on James; she’s dead to the world, probably exhausted from the whirlwind of emotions she went through today.
Not that I can blame her.
Snagging a blanket off the back of the couch, I drape it over her. A stray piece of hair lays across her face, and I tuck it back behind her ear, letting my fingers trail along her face for this one quick moment.
With a weary sigh, I turn and make my way to my bedroom. This morning, I thought I knew what to expect from my roommate, but now I’m not so sure she’s as bad as she made herself out to be.
Chapter 11
James
Asmall square piece of paper tacked on the mirror causes butterflies to take flight in my stomach.
Morgan left me a note. He’s never left me one before.
I was halfway through brushing my teeth when I noticed it, sitting exactly in the spot where I leave him notes of my own every morning—at least I did until last weekend. I haven’t had anything to nitpick since then. Maybe he has been more courteous—not that he wasn’t before. It was an effort to find a new issue every day—or maybe I just don’t want to be a bitch to him anymore.
Things have been good since that night. He’s home more, and we sometimes talk if we pass each other in the hall. We aren’t friends yet, but things have been friendly enough. It makes his note even more shocking; it’s a complete change to the status quo. I don’t waste time ripping it down, and the butterflies multiply at the words.
Morgan wants to hang out with me.
He still wants to give me a chance, even after the shitty way I’ve treated him. I have no idea why—I would have told me to get fucked—but it stirs something inside me all the same.
Do I even want to go down this path?
My gut screams yes, but I know Tanner won’t like it. I don’t think I’ll get this opportunity again if I don’t take it, though.
That whole day was a whirlwind of highs and lows, but Morgan was my port of safe harbor through it all. He was my lighthouse and my anchor. It was the best night I’ve had in a long time, even if I spent half of it crying on his shirt. He made me feel completely safe and actuallyseen.
I was wrong when I pegged him as a judgmental asshole. Hell, I don’t think he has a judgmental bone in his body. For the first time in weeks, I felt like I could truly relax and breathe. The guilt didn’t hit until the next morning.
We didn’t do anything even remotely inappropriate, but Tanner’s accusations play on repeat in my head. If he knew I spent the night hanging out with my roommate, he wouldn’t hesitate to throw it in my face that he’s right—that Morgan is trying to sleep with me—even if it isn’t true.
Fuck it.
If I spend my whole life making every decision based on how Tanner will react, I will go crazy, especially if he doesn’t give my desires a second thought.
***
My fingers curl and uncurl into tight fists as I wander around the city streets. Each small bite of pain from my nails digging into my palms helps distract me from the ever-growing ball of anxiety in my chest.
I never gave Morgan an answer about tonight.
I told myself that if I happened to see him after class, I would let him know that I was in. I may have also made a quick stop to grab Grover when I knew he was in class, and I’ve been roaming around to kill time since.
God, I’m such a fucking coward.
For the hundredth time in the past thirty minutes, I pull out my phone to check the time. It’s ten till eight, so there’s no time left to stall. I walk home on autopilot because if I think about it too hard, I’m going to chicken out again. The door creaks on its hinges as I push it open and find Morgan sitting on the couch, overdressed as always. Bare feet poke out from under his nice pants, and I struggle to stifle a giggle at the sight. His head snaps toward me, and a brilliant smile lights up his face. He runs a hand through his curls and then drops them to his lap, wringing his hands together with nerves, but that goddamn smile never leaves his face.
