Page 22 of Dear Roomie
Then fifteen.
And then twenty.
I find myself growing more anxious for Tanner’s arrival.He should be here by now.My leg bounces, keeping pace with the rapidly escalating rhythm of my heart, and my nails carve little crescent moons into my palms. I fight to keep my breathing even, but I feel like I’m gasping for air with each inhale.
“James, hey. Look at me.” I didn’t even notice that he moved to crouch in front of me. My eyes snap down to his striking hazel ones—pools of green rimmed with gold. His whole face is etched with concern. One of his hands holds my knee in a firm grip, and he gives it a gentle squeeze, becoming my anchor in the raging whirlpool of panic. “What can I do?”
“Meds,” I choke out between gasping breaths.
“Where?”
“Bathroom.”
He is gone in an instant. Without the feeling of his touch anchoring me, I’m pulled back under the crushing waves. I’m not sure how long he’s gone—it could have been seconds or hours—but he brings me a pill and a glass of water, which I swallow back without hesitation. He settles back into that spot between my knees and reanchors me with a steady hand on my thigh.
“That’s it, there she is. I need you to take a deep breath for me. Can you do that?” Morgan’s voice is soft and low, each word attempting to soothe my rattlednerves. I try to listen, but each breath catches in shallow gasps. He pulls my hand to his sternum. “Do you feel my breaths? Let them guide you, James. We will do it together. Just match my breaths.”
It takes several attempts, but I’m able to synchronize my ragged breathing to his, using the steady rise and fall of his chest as my metronome.
“That’s it, pretty girl.”
I expect him to pull away, but he doesn’t. He stays with me, letting me use his body to find my way back down. It takes another few minutes before I feel confident that the worst has passed. The warmth from his chest soaks into my hand, blanketing me with the same comfort of an embrace. As I let my hand fall away, the tight knot in my throat falls with it, settling in my stomach with a heavy weight. He takes that as his cue to get up off the floor, giving my knee one more squeeze before he sits back in his spot on the couch as if he didn’t witness me completely fall apart.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
His head snaps back in my direction, confusion clear as day on his face. “For what?”
“That you had to see that.” My hands wave through the air as if that will make what I’m trying to say any clearer. “I know it’s a lot, and you shouldn’t have had to do any of that.”
“Listen to me,” Morgan commands. “You never have to apologize to me for having a panic attack. I’m glad I was here to help. If you ever need my help again, I’ll be there, just ask. Okay?”
“Okay.” I say the word, but it lacks conviction. There’s no reality where I let him see me weak again. His lips purse. I’m pretty sure he knows I’m lying to him, but he doesn’t push it. He pulls his phone out again and winces.
“Do you think Tanner will be here soon? I was supposed to meet Nathan twelve minutes ago, so I really should be going.” He runs his hand through his hair as he stands to move toward the door.
“No, please stay,” I plead, jumping up to stop him. I grab his forearm to hold him in place, trying to ignore how right it feels to be touching him again. “I’m sure he will be here any seco—” I’m cut off by the sound of a key turning in the lock.
“Hey, Ophie, sorry I’m late,” my boyfriend calls out into the apartment, pushing the door open. His words trail off as his eyes narrow on where my fingers are wrapped around Morgan’s arm. I jerk my hand away and take a step back, putting much-needed space between my roommate and me.
Tanner’s eyes flash with cold rage, but it’s gone almost as quickly as it came. He effortlessly schools his expression, pasting on one of his bright, thousand-watt smiles that I’ve watched him practice a million times in the mirror. His image is everything; it has to be when his dad is a small-town celebrity. His father is a state commissioner with aspirations of becoming governor.
For as long as I’ve known him, he has worn the mask of a perfect, devoted son. Even now, he looks the part, wearing clothes that would be more suited for a golf course than a date night in. I’m one of the few people who ever gets to see the real Tanner Nicholson, not just Commissioner Nicholson’s son. The real Tanner is the man who dotes on his little sisters and whose perfect day would be spent fishing on the river. It’s the man who watched hours of videos to learn how to line dance so he could take me out dancing when I begged to go. I’ve always loved the unmasked version of him the most, even if I see less and less of him now that the campaign is in full swing.
“Hi, babe.” I walk over and wrap my arms around him. He reciprocates, but his focus doesn’t leave Morgan. I guess we are doing the alpha-posturing bullshit today.Great.
My roommate doesn’t take the bait. He simply throws his backpack over his shoulders and extends his hand.
“Hey, you must be Tanner. Great to meet you. James has told me a lot about you. I’m Morgan.” It’s a bit of a stretch, considering how little I’ve actuallyspoken with him over the past few weeks. I cringe inside, hoping he won’t take it to mean we’ve gotten too friendly.
My boyfriend eyes him up for another second before grabbing Morgan’s hand in an iron grip. “Tanner Nicholson.” He says his name as if it means something. “I can’t say Ophelia has had much to say about you.”
To Morgan’s credit, if Tanner’s antics are getting to him, he doesn’t show it.
“That’s understandable. We don’t see each other that often. I spend a lot of time at the library, and I actually need to head that way now. If you are still around when I get back, we can have a beer or two and get to know each other.”
“Sure thing.” His tone says the opposite. He claps my roommate on the back as he helps guide him out the door. Morgan doesn’t spare me a second glance, fleeing the apartment like a bat out of hell, not that I blame him.
The door falls shut, and Tanner latches the deadbolt with an ominousclick. With that sound, his smile falls and his fury returns with a vengeance.
