Page 94 of Sunflower Persona
“Is this the part where you ask my intentions and try to warn me off your daughter? Because I already know she’s too good for me,” I tell him as I take a sip. The liquor is smooth—and expensive. I don’t claim to be a connoisseur, by any means, but I know how much I would charge for this shot.
“I’ve been on the receiving end of enough ‘fatherly concern’ to do that. Jen’s dad didn’t approve of us and made both our lives hell for her choices until we finally cut them off. When I had a daughter of my own, I vowed I would never be him. You might not be what I expected, but you make Kori smile, and that’s all that matters.”
“So this is…”
“Getting to know you.”
“Okay.”
An awkward silence fills the room as we both fidget with our tumblers without taking a sip. At least I’m not the only one completely out of my element. A picture of Kori on his desk catches my attention. She can’t be more than eight, and she’s dressed as Starfire, smiling at the camera with a gap-toothed grin.
“Don’t tell me you named your daughter after a comic book character.”
He shrugs with a wry grin. “Jen didn’t realize until she was one. She was pissed at me for weeks.”
“My dad did the same to my mom—twice. I was named after the kid fromPet Sematary,and my brother was named after the singer of Alice in Chains.”
He snorts, and his body relaxes as he takes a sip of his drink. I follow suit.
“So bartender, huh? Any place I’d know?”
“I work at Cutter’s.”
“Do they still do quarter beer nights?”
“It’s a dollar now.”
“That’s highway robbery,” he says with a shake of his head. “How long have you worked there?”
“I’ve been at Cutter’s for a few years, but I’ve been bouncing around Athens for the past decade and a half.”
“As a bartender?”
“As whatever paid and didn’t require a high school diploma.”
My shoulders clench in anticipation of the inevitable judgment, but it never comes.
“Jen didn’t finish high school either. Her family was…well, let’s just say the racism was the least of the reasons we went no contact. She moved out once she turned eighteen, got her GED as soon as she could, and worked her ass off to get into UGA in spite of her family’s constant attempts to drag her back down. High school diploma or not, she is still the most brilliant and driven person I know.”
I know the story is meant to show he relates, but all it does is make me feel ten times smaller. She kept going despite the obstacles presented, and all I’ve done is shut down and wallow in my own misfortunes. I couldn’t even be bothered to take that stupid exam.
The gloom makes its presence known, creeping into the corners of the office as I sink deeper into my seat. So many years have been wasted with nothing but debt to show for them. If I had the same grit as Kori’s mom, I could be living like this—in a nice house with a family of my own. My UFC dreams died, but I didn’t have to let all the others die with it. I down the rest of my drink and try to keep the self-loathing off my face.
“Can I ask a question I have no business asking?” he asks after a few seconds pass without a reply.
“Sure.”
Might as well get it all on the table now.
“Where do you see this going after she graduates? It’s unlikely she’ll stay in Athens forever.”
“I know.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I know things between you two are new, but I also saw your face when you talked about wanting kids and a family. You can’t tell me at your age, you aren’t already thinking about the future.”
He’s wrong. The future isn’t something I’ve ever allowed myself to consider. Why would I when I’ve never seen myself having one? Before Kori, I spent most nights wishing it would be the one I never woke up from. Now I have something to want to wake up for, and that means it’s time to start looking ahead.
“I am now.”
