Page 87 of Sunflower Persona
“That’s it, Low. Let it happen. You can let go. I’ve got you,” Gage swears.
He leans over to kiss me again, and that’s the trigger to make that hot, tight feeling detonate inside me. Ecstasy washes over me in waves so intense that darkness creeps along the edges of my vision. All the while, he holds me and whispers reassuring words. He pulls his fingers out as my body stops seizing, and lies down beside me, pulling me onto his chest.
So that’s why there’s so much hype around orgasms. I get it now.
We lie like that for several minutes as our breathing and hearts even out. I trace my finger over his tattoo and listen to his heartbeat, still riding the high from that release.
“Does this have meaning?” I ask as my finger passes over one of the roses.
“I got it after I won my first fight. I spent the entirety of my winnings on this thing and didn’t even take care of it right, but that’s beside the point. I heard someone call me a bear in the ring at one point, and I liked that, so I got the bear. The flowers are for my family, though. There’s one for each of them on there. Mom, Dad, Layne.” He points to each of the roses that form a triangle around the beast’s head, with the point right below his sternum.
“Do you think I’ll ever get to meet them? Your mom and Layne, I mean.”
He stiffens underneath me, and the hand that was rubbing circles along my back freezes with it.
“I don’t know, Kor,” he starts. His words are too controlled, like he’s actively thinking to say the right thing. “Maybe one day, but this distance makes it hard. Who knows if you will still want to be with me the next time I visit.”
My bliss is sucked away by the gaping void his answer summoned. He doesn’t know if we will still be together then.Doesn’t see this lasting long term. My heart crumbles into a pile of dust in my chest. Here I was thinking about love, but clearly, Gage isn’t on the same page.
I nod and try to keep my face neutral despite my inner turmoil. The last thing I want to do is ruin tonight. Everything has been so perfect up until now. I must do a piss-poor job of hiding my reaction, though, because he sits up and rolls over so he can look me in the face.
“You’re freaking out on me. What’s going on? Did I hurt you? Are you having regrets?”
I shake my head but don’t give him anything else. If I open my mouth now, I think I’ll lose it and start crying all over him again, but this time in a bad way.
“Don’t ice me out. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.” The hurt look on his face pulls at something in my chest.
“I didn’t realize you didn’t see things between us going long term.” I’m proud of how steady my voice sounds, despite everything.
“What? Where did you get that impression?” He looks so confused that I think maybe I’m the one who is misunderstanding things.
“You literally just said I might not ever meet your family because I might not be around. How else am I supposed to take that?”
“Kori, you are everything I never let myself dream of having. I don’t know why you are wasting your time with me when you could do so much better, but I thank whatever forces brought you into my life every day that you are choosing me. The only reason I said you might not be around is because, at some point, you are going to realize I can’t offer you everything you deserve.”
As quickly as it was broken, my heart mends, but anger floods in where the void stood.
“Gage, I mean this with all of the possible affection, but you are the biggest fucking idiot I’ve ever met. I am with you because I likeyou. I don’t want anyone else. There is no one out there who is better for me than you. I don’t want to hear shit like that out of your mouth again, you hear me?”
He opens his mouth to protest, but I glare at him, and he closes it again.
“I hear you, Low,” he says with a sigh.
“Good. Would you be open to meeting my parents since they live closer?”
He thinks for a second before reaching out and grabbing my hand. His thumb runs circles over the skin there for a moment, and then he brings our hands to his mouth to place a kiss on my knuckles.
“Of course. I’d do anything for you. When are you thinking?”
“How about fall break? We could do a long weekend at their house. I haven’t been back home since the semester started.”
“Yeah. Okay. I’ll talk to my boss at Cutter’s and Coach David to organize the time off.”
“Really?”
“Of course.”
“Thank you,” I tell him with a smile and tackle him on the mattress while I pepper his face with light kisses.
