Page 79 of Sunflower Persona
“I’m fine. Let’s go.”
I grab her hand, leading her through the garden until we reach the large grassy field in the back, and find a quiet spot to claim. Most families with energetic children stick to the play area near the front. We aren’t alone, but the air here is tranquil. The mild breeze carries the first hints of fall, cutting through the humid heat of summer, and both students and locals had similar ideas on how to take advantage of the weather.
Several other groups have set up blankets to lounge on around the edge of the field, and I pull one out of my bag to do the same. I was going to bring the hole-filled throw I keep on the back of my couch, but James offered to let me take one of hers. Morgan must have talked to her about my plans after we caught up at the gym during the week, but even then, the gesture was unexpected. James and I have never been friends like that. My pride almost made me turn it down, but the blanket is way nicer than anything I had to offer, and Kori deserves the best things.
Once that’s done, I pull out the containers of snacks from the bottom. There’s nothing fancy about the food, but Kori’s facelights up when she sees the array of snacks as if I’ve just pulled a gourmet five-star meal out of my bag. She grabs a pack of the gummies I saw stashed in her room and plops down on the blanket before I finish unpacking.
“You made me a picnic?” she asks with wide eyes.
“Um…yeah. If you don’t like it, we can do something else.”
“Shut your mouth before you say more stupid things. I love it. You got all my favorite snacks. How did you even know I liked these?”
I shrug and sit next to her on the blanket. She grabs a handful of gummy packs and a few cookies from another container before moving closer to lean against me. I wrap an arm around her and pull her even closer, and for the first time in years, I feel completely at peace.
“Thank you for doing this, Gage. No one has ever done something like this for me before.”
“You deserve the world, Kori.”
I’m sorry I can only offer you this.
Things would be so much better if money wasn’t a concern. Simple snacks could have been a full meal, and I could have gotten her a gift like I wanted to. I looked, but nothing felt right. I thought about getting her flowers again, but that felt redundant in a garden, and anything else I found I thought she would actually like was out of my budget. Who knew vintage Godzilla paraphernalia cost so much?
“But I’ve never done this for anyone before either,” I add on. I don’t want to ruin this by sulking.
“Never? I figured you treated all your girlfriends this good.”
“That would require me to have had a girlfriend before.”
“Wait, what?” She sits up straighter and pulls back to look me in the face.
“I told you before, I’ve never been in an actual relationship.”
“How? Why? I’m sure you’ve had more than enough opportunity. I mean, look at you.”
My throat tightens as the urge to shut down this whole line of conversation nearly chokes me. This is the exact type of thing I wanted to avoid today. I don’t want to ruin our date by talking about me, but I also don’t want her to think I’m hiding anything from her. Goddamnit. Morgan said to be vulnerable, and there isn’t getting any more vulnerable than this.
With a sigh, I lie back on the blanket and wrap my arm around my girl so I can pull her down with me. She comes readily, resting her head on my chest, and I’m sure she can hear my heart beating wildly in my chest.
“Fighting in the UFC was always my dream. It’s the only thing I can ever remember wanting, and I wanted it with everything in me. I lived and breathed to train, and that didn’t leave any time for me to devote to being in a relationship, so I didn’t. And after…”
Just thinking about that night makes my leg ache.
“After what?”
“I had been fighting in the local circuits, making a name for myself, while Coach tried to use his connections to get me a fight in the big leagues. Things were going well. My record was favorable, and I was riding a win streak that was getting the right type of attention. Then it all ended with one bad kick to my knee.
“I completely ruptured both my ACL and MCL, and there was significant damage to my meniscus as well. Everything I had ever worked for was ripped away from me with one kick. I wasn’t in a good place after that. Getting in a relationship was the last thing on my mind.”
I take a breath and brace for her reaction. People tend to fall into one of two camps: pity or judgment for how much I let it all affect me. I don’t want either from Kori. She is quiet for a few moments as she rubs her hand up and down my arm.
“They couldn’t fix it?” she asks in an oddly even tone.
“I had the reconstruction surgery, but I don’t have insurance, so I came out of it with more debt than I knew what to do with. Recovery time with rehab is supposed to be a year, but there were issues with the first surgery, so I had to go through it all again, which only added to the mountain of debt and my recovery time.
“It was almost two years before I was able to get back on the mats, but by that point, it was like starting all over. I didn’t have the same time to commit to training because I had bills to pay, and even if I did, the surgeon’s warning about reinjury rates made it clear that I would only be setting myself up for more pain if I continued to push myself the same way I had been. I had to make a choice, and the risks involved with continuing competitively seemed too great.”
“Gage, I’m so sorry.”
