Page 53 of Sunflower Persona
Karis drops the box next to the stairs and tosses me one of the cold cans.
“Yeah, Gage, tell them what happened, and I’ll see if I can bring your piece of shit back to life.”
With catlike grace, she maneuvers around our friends and pops the hood of my car parked in front of the staircase. I didn’t give her my keys, but that didn’t stop her from taking them. Hell, I’m surprised she gave me warning that she was going to fix the damn thing instead of stopping by while I was at work and then delivering my keys like some sort of mechanic fairy.
I crack open the beer, taking a long drink before joining them on the steps.
“I fucked everything up,” I tell them and take another sip.
“Oh yeah, that’s real specific,” Nathan says.
“Things got…out of control at our lesson today.”
“You? Out of control?” Morgan asks.
“Yeah. And in the heat of the moment, I let her kiss me.”
“And that’s a problem…?” Nathan prompts.
“Yes, it’s a problem. One, nothing can ever happen between us, and two, I might have pushed her away and told her it was a mistake. She was pretty upset when she left.”
Karis snorts and pulls her head out from under the hood. “Why are you boys so fucking bad at this. I swear y’all have more drama than any woman I’ve ever known.”
“Hey, I have no drama,” Nathan says.
“Oh yeah? So you aren’t still pining after a woman you dated for a few months a year ago?” When he doesn’t respond, she crosses her arms and continues, “That’s what I thought. Morgan finally has his shit together, but last year was a whole clusterfuck. And now Gage is torturing himself over a woman who is absolutely into him and has no baggage holding her back.”
“Her liking me isn’t the issue,” I growl.
“Then what is?” Nathan asks.
“I’m not good enough for her,” I practically shout.
“Goddamnit, are we seriously doing this again,” Nathan snaps. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you aren’t good enough for her if this is how you are going to treat her.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I admit as my frustration starts to fade. “I’ve tried being her friend, but I don’t think I can do that anymore. There is too much tension between us. It will only lead to a cycle of hurt every time I push her away.”
“Then stop pushing her away,” Morgan says.
“And then what?”
“You see where this thing goes.”
“I don’t know how to do that.”
“What? Let yourself be happy?” Nathan’s voice drips with bitter sarcasm.
“Be with a woman for more than a night. I’ve never done the whole relationship thing. I have no idea how to treat her right,” I admit.
I didn’t have time for a relationship when I spent most of my younger years training to make a name for myself, and I never had the desire after my dreams came crashing down.
“Well, not being a self-sabotaging asshole would be a good place to start,” he snaps.
“It’s easy,” Morgan says, ignoring the tension between me and our friend. “Loving James is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Nothing about that woman is easy,” Nathan scoffs, though the bitter edge to his voice softens.
Morgan punches his shoulder, but there’s no malice behind it, and just like that, all the aggravated energy dissipates.
