Page 99 of Sunflower Persona
Her lips purse with sympathetic understanding as she ushers me to sit on my bed.
“Chocolate or vanilla?”
I shrug.
“Chocolate it is.” She pulls out a spoon and sticks it directly into the half-eaten tub before handing it over to me. “Now tell me what hap—”
A forceful knock cuts her words short.
“Are you expecting someone?” Her brows pinch in confusion.
I shrug again. Talking feels like more energy than I have to give. When I don’t make any move to acknowledge whoever’s on the other side, my friend gets up. The door is barely cracked before Karis barrels in like a bat out of hell.
“What the fuck happened,” she asks as soon as she’s inside.
“Oh, hi, Karis. It’s nice to see you too. Me? I’m great, so kind of you to ask. Sure, come on in,” Evelyn says in an exasperated tone.
“Hi, Evelyn. Hi, Kori. Now what the fuck happened?” Karis asks our friend.
“I’m not sure. We were getting into that before you barged in here.”
“Gage dumped me,” I supply before they can continue.
Saying it again doesn’t make it feel any more real.
“I know, hon.” Karis sits next to me on the bed and puts a ring-covered hand on my shoulder. “But start from the beginning.”
“I really don’t know what happened. Things were really, really good this morning. He was talking about getting me back to Athens so we could spend tonight together and was as affectionate as always. But then his car broke down, and it was like a switch flipped. He shut down completely and acted like an asshole. When I tried to talk to him about it once we got back to his place, he said we were done.”
We’re done.
Why doesn’t that thought stir anything inside me?
“Fuck,” Karis mutters as Evelyn swoops in to take the spot on my other side.
“I really hate to be this person, but it’s important. How long ago was this, and where did it happen?” Karis asks.
“A few hours ago at his place,” I deadpan.
“Fuck,” she says again, and without another word, she exits with the same abruptness with which she arrived.
Evelyn shakes her head and ignores our edgy friend’s departure, turning her attention back to the forgotten ice cream.
“I’m so sorry, Kori. Gage is an absolute fool if he doesn’t see how big of a mistake he’s making.”
“Can we skip the ex talk and jump straight into the junk food and movies?” I ask.
She gives me a strange look but acquiesces to my request and turns on my TV.
“What are you feeling?” she asks.
“Something that screams feminine rage.”
“I’ve got just the thing.”
***
Movies, ice cream, and half a bottle of wine don’t actually make me feel any better. But they don’t make me feel any worse either. That would require me to feel something other than the aching emptiness inside me. I’m not numb—every thought of him arrives on the edge of a dull blade—but there’s nowhere for that pain to stick. I’m hollow; as sharp as those memories are, the ache falls into an abyss after a few agonizing breaths. Maybe after enough time, I’ll be filled up by heartbreak, and maybe then I’ll finally mourn the way I’m supposed to.
