Page 92 of Sunflower Persona
With overdramatic flair, I fling myself into the bed, letting the avalanche of covers consume me. The mattress dips with my boyfriend’s weight a few seconds later.
“You good, Low?” he asks, and his hand burrows through the blankets and finds my shoulder.
“I’m sorry. Mom can be a lot sometimes.”
“I think your mom is great. She reminds me a lot of you.”
“What? Really? People normally say I’m more like my dad. I don’t always know how to interact with people, especially strangers, so I tend to fade into the background and observe. Like him. Mom is so sociable. She can talk to anyone without even trying. I don’t have that skill.”
“You could never fade into the background, and those people clearly don’t see you the way I do.”
“And how do you see me?”
“Joy incarnate. My sunflower. The brightest thing in any room.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious. The first time I ever saw you, I was captivated. You were you: wholly, happily, and unapologetically, even if you were out of your element. I wanted to bottle it up and store it away for a rainy day. I guess in a way, I did. I found a way to keep you by my side.”
Tears prickle behind my eyes as my heart swells.
I love him.
I love him so much that it’s a physical pain in my chest.
The words fight against my lips, begging to be let out, but I can’t. Saying them and hearing nothing in return is far worse than never saying them at all. If he feels the same, he will say it, and then I’ll let him know how I feel. I push the wordsaway by sitting up and capturing his lips in a kiss, putting every unspoken feeling into it. That’s all I can give him now.
After a moment of searing heat, Gage pulls away with a groan.
“As much as I love where this is going, it’s best we don’t get carried away. Your dad already hates me. Let’s not give him even more of a reason to.”
“Dad doesn’t hate you,” I protest, but I do put some space between us. He is right that we probably shouldn’t get too physical under my parents’ roof.
“Did you not see the glare he was giving me all throughout dinner?”
“That’s just his face.”
“It’s not the face he was giving you or your mom. I think he about had an aneurysm when he realized how old I am. Honestly, if I were in his shoes, I’d hate me too. You’re his kid, and I’m some older man with no real ambition who’s come to try to take you away.”
“Gage…you know that isn’t how things are between us, right?”
“I know that, but I also know how we look to the outside world. Fuck, I’m probably closer to their age than I am yours. People are going to talk, and they are going to judge. I’ve accepted that. You mean far too much to me to let the opinions of others hold any water, but I’m aware of them. Your dad is too. He might be misguided, but he has your best interests at heart, so I can’t blame him. Hopefully, by the end of this weekend, he will warm up to me, and if he hasn’t…well, if he hasn’t, I’ll just have to keep trying. I’m not the most patient of men, but for you, my reserves are endless.”
“No bullshit?” My whispered voice cracks from the emotion welling in my throat.
“No bullshit.” The look in his eye is so sincere, so sure, that I can’t help but believe him.
It takes everything in me not to throw myself at him and rip his clothes off. That feeling of all-consuming love courses through me again, begging for an outlet.
“I think I should show you to your room now, or I’m going to do something that would definitely get you on my dad’s bad side.”
“That’s a good idea.” His hoarse voice sends a shiver of need through me.
The air between us is charged, and that feeling doesn’t dissipate as I lead him down the hall to the guest room.
“I’m sorry if it’s a mess. Mom uses it as a workshop sometimes, and the level of chaos depends on her current project.”
I push the door open and breathe a sigh of relief that things are actually organized—at least by Mom’s standards. It looks like she has come back around to the quilt she’s been working on for the past eight years, but she has the scraps of fabric neatly folded out of the way. I hover in the doorway, wanting to follow him inside but knowing that defeats the whole purpose.
