Page 119 of Sunflower Persona
Done up like a life-sized Barbie—courtesy of Shaunee’s killer fashion sense and Jayla’s goddess-tier hair and makeup skills—and already a little tipsy from the pregame shots, I stroll downtown with a smile on my face. Things fell into place after that first screening back at the start of the semester, and without much effort, I had two new friends without any baggage.
I didn’t realize how much I needed that.
I still hang out with Nathan and Evelyn, but their friendship hasn’t felt the same. It’s too tainted with my memories of Gage, even if they never bring him up without my prompting.
The real problem is that the urge to ask about him hasn’t gone away. Five months later, and he still lives rent-free in my head. Or maybe he’s a ghost haunting the halls. Evelyn says I need to get laid to get him out of my system—exorcise the demon, so to speak—but the thought of anyone else touching me in the ways he did is repulsing. Gage is the only man who has made my skin tingle with need instead of crawl in disgust.
I’d rather be alone than go through endless trial and error on the off chance I find someone who affects me the same. No, thank you. I’ll stick to movie nights with my girls.
Not tonight, though. Tonight they convinced me to go out with them against my better judgment.
The late-April air is warm against my skin—a welcome change from the cooler nights that have dragged on over the past several months. We aren’t the only students with the idea of spending their reading day doing anything but what the name intended. The streets are crowded but not packed, which is perfect for me. It means I can actually breathe and enjoy my time out with my friends.
“Where are we hitting first?” Shaunee asks.
“Anywhere but Cutter’s.” The thought spills past my alcohol-loosened lips before I think it through. The last thing I want to do tonight is face my phantom.
I never did tell them about my history with Gage, or anything about my drama-filled first semester. Hell, I don’t think I’ve even mentioned my other friends to the girls. It’s not that I’m keeping them secret on purpose, but I like that divide. The last thing I want is reminders of my ex tainting the only place I’ve carved out for myself without his influence. I did a damned good job of keeping that separation too. Until now.
Both of my friends stop and give me questioning looks, and I know the gig is up. They will tag team bombard me with questions until I give in for my own sanity. My past is coming back to haunt me tonight.
“That sounds like a story. What secrets have you been keeping from us?” Shaunee asks.
“I might have dated the big bartender for a few months last semester. Things didn’t end great between us, and I’d rather not risk running into him.”
“You mean the ugly motherfucker who looked like he took a few too many hits over the years?” Jayla asks.
Pain lances through my palms as my nails dig into the flesh. My protective instincts flare for a man who isn’t mine to care about anymore, but that doesn’t stop me from jumping to his defense.
“He isn’t ugly,” I snap, and her eyes widen at the tone. My lashes fall shut as I take a centering breath. “But yes, him.”
“Well, you have nothing to worry about. He hasn’t been around in months,” she says with a shrug.
Ice fills my veins.
Where the fuck is he?
“Hey, Kori, you good?” Shaunee asks.
“What do you mean he’s not there?” I ask.
My friend shrugs. “He’s just gone. Got some fresh blood in there now who is way less brooding.”
Is he okay? He has to be okay. Nathan would have told me if he wasn’t. Right?
Those thoughts do nothing to ease my panic.
He could have lied when he said Gage was doing good. Or maybe the gloom became too much for him over time. Gage could be suffering, and I’m out here living my life without a care in the world. He might need me.
“I—I need to go,” I stammer out as my heart jackhammers in my chest.
“Go? Where? It’s 11 p.m.,” she calls after me, but I ignore her as I try my best to hurry along the sidewalk in my borrowed heels.
I’m not even sure where I’m going. My dorm is in the other direction, and I’m in no state to drive, but I have to see him. I have to know he’s okay. After moving away from my friends and the scattered crowd, I stop, pull out my phone, and call Nathan.
“Kori, what’s wrong?” he answers after the first ring. His voice alert and sharpened with concern.
“You tell me,” I snap. “Where is Gage? Why hasn’t he been at Cutter’s? Is he okay?”
