Page 11 of Sunflower Persona
Calling her a kid puts a sour taste in my mouth. It’s clear that woman isn’t a child, but she’s still only twenty-one. A thirteen-year age gap is practically the same thing. I’m already the creepy old guy who hangs out with college students. It’s not hard to imagine what people would say if I got involved with one.
“Keep telling yourself that. So what are you going to do about her?” she asks.
“Nothing.”
There is nothing to be done. If I see her again, I’ll apologize for my friends’ shitty behavior and move on with my life. I don’t have time to take in another stray. My crew keeps me in enough trouble as it is.
Maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to her. At one point or another, all of my friends were outsiders who were struggling to find their place. Yellow reminds me of them. If everything wasn’t so fucked right now, I might have been more willing to invite her into the fold. I think she might just fit. But thingsarefucked, so that won’t be happening anytime soon.
“Nothing?” Karis asks, raising a brow.
“Yup. I have too much going on to worry about a lost girl.”
“Fair enough. Speaking of, do you need me to give you a ride home tonight?”
“Nah, I’ll get a rideshare. Can’t keep asking you to cart me around.”
“Sure you can. You know I don’t mind.”
I wave off her concern with a grunt. The last thing I want is her charity. Plus, it’s not like I intend to go home tonight, anyway.
Our conversation ends there. The next wave of demanding students crashes against the bar, and it doesn’t stop coming until it’s time to lock up. At some point, Nathan leaves with a random woman, and Karis dips out not too long after.
Herding the last drunken customer out into the streets takes longer than it should. The air is buzzing with more chaotic energy than normal—likely the result of the city coming to life for the first time after lying dormant for several months. No one is ready to go home yet.
As soon as I turn the lock, I spring into my end-of-shift routine with more haste than normal. Every second wasted is sleep I’m losing. My urgent energy is enough to keep the gloom at bay for now, but I can feel its icy tendrils creeping into the corners of my mind.
The only task I take my time on is tallying tips. Each dollar counted is a chip off the mountain on my shoulders.
It’s enough.
Not a lot, but enough that I’m able to breathe a little easier.
In an instant, all the adrenaline drains from my bloodstream, replaced with overwhelming fatigue. My energy plummets like a kite without a breeze. It takes more effort than I’d like to admit to finish closing down. At least my head is too foggy to focus on the gloom.
With cement feet, I drag myself out of the bar. Things have calmed down. The air is quiet enough that I’ll likely be able to get a few hours of sleep.
I was lying when I told Karis I would get a rideshare. Money or not, I don’t see the point in trying to get home, only to have to be back in less than three hours to open at the Bean Bar. There are more than enough places to crash around campus in a pinch. I should go to the learning center and find a couch there, but the walk is farther than my dead feet can carry me.
The empty fields on the edge of North Campus are as far as I get.
Karis would kick my ass if she knew I was doing this, but what she doesn’t know won’t kill her. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to rough it on the streets. Hell, one night is nothing compared to some stints I’ve done before.
To my tired body, the grass is as comforting as any bed would be, and within minutes, I start to drift to sleep. My focus should be on my surroundings—there’s always the risk someone tries something, regardless of what I look like—but my every thought drifts back to Yellow.
I bet if she saw me like this, she would pretend she never met me. I’m so far below her level, she shouldn’t even be talking to me. She is the brightest of blooms, and I’m nothing but dirtbeneath her roots. My bullshit is already tainting her bright aura; if I let her in, I might ruin it for good.
Chapter 5
Kori
With every day that passes, the sterile walls of my room inch closer, closing in around me on all sides. Why did they have to be white? It makes the space feel more like a prison than a home. Or an asylum. Maybe that was intentional, because I’m going crazy locked in here.
Outside of meals and classes, I haven’t ventured outside again. Not since I fled from Cutter’s like a princess fleeing the ball. The difference is I didn’t have a magical night with a prince first or a fairy godmother waiting in the wings to make everything better. All I got was an awkward conversation and ridicule from the man I was—am—crushing on and his friends. I seriously doubt he’s going to come chasing after me with a glass slipper to declare his feelings. This isn’t a fairy tale, and even if it was, I’m not exactly the princess type.
He isn’t single, anyway. There was way too much familiarity between him and the goth woman for her to be anything but his girlfriend. They fit together well—their scaries match. Given the choice between me and her, I would have chosen her too. She’severything I’m not: small, edgy, and confident. With her in the picture, why would Gage ever take a second glance at me?
That’s right, he didn’t.
