Page 102 of Sunflower Persona
It’s been years since I’ve been this hungover.
With a groan, I grab the nearest pillow and use it to cover my head, smothering myself with Kori’s scent. For a moment, I find peace, but it shatters as everything comes back to me.
Meeting her parents.
Driving us back.
Brandy breaking down.
Spiraling.
Ending things.
Fuck.
I spring out of bed and sprint for the bathroom, as vomit that has nothing to do with my hangover rises in my throat. The soles of my feet sting with every step as the skin around the shallow cuts tightens and tears them back open. I don’t even know where they came from. With seconds to spare, I make it to kneel in front of the toilet bowl as all the contents of my stomach spill out.
“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Nathan says from the doorway.
His mouth is curled in a friendly smile, but his eyes burn with the anger he keeps locked under the surface. It’s an ire I deserve every smoldering second of. I grunt in acknowledgment and stand, wiping away the remaining mess from my lips.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
“Like death.”
He nods, looks me over, and pulls his arm back before launching his fist at my face. The move is telegraphed. I could easily dodge it, but I lean into it instead, letting the full force of the blow land on my jaw. Whatever his reason, it’s probably deserved.
“That was for breaking Kori’s heart,” he says.
Scratch that. It was definitely deserved. I would let him beat me bloody if he wanted to, and it wouldn’t begin to make up for what I’ve done.
The mere mention of her name sends a pang of emotions through me so intense my knees nearly buckle. I didn’t expect letting her go to hurt this much. Her absence is a gaping, bleeding hole in my chest—a physical pain that steals my breath from my fucking lungs.
She’s gone.
No, I fucking threw her away. I ruined the only good thing in my fucked-up life like I always knew I would.
“What the hell happened, man?” he asks.
“I fucked up.” My voice cracks before I can finish the sentence.
Grimacing, he pulls me in for a hug, but my arms hang limply at my sides. He shouldn’t be giving me sympathy. He should be leaving me to wallow in the misery of my own making.
“Yeah, I figured that much out on my own,” he says as he pulls away.
“Where are Karis and Morgan?”
“Morgan had class, and Karis is covering your ‘brats.’”
“Shit.” I’ve lost a full day to my drunken stupor, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t preferable to this. Nathan was right; I’m a self-sabotaging bastard.
“Yup. And don’t think I’m letting you off the hook with an ‘I fucked up.’ Seriously, man, you scared the shit out of us. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Karis that freaked out.”
My chest tightens as my head hangs even lower with shame.
“Think you could give me a few minutes to freshen up before giving me the first degree?”
“Sure, man.” He claps me on the back before leaving me alone with my guilt.
