Page 96 of Your Pace or Mine
“Ooh, Jamie, is there something you’d like to share with the class?” Elle asked.
“Hardly,” Jamie replied, his thoughts very much shifting to just who he’d like to be rubbing up against.
“Come on, Jamie,” Reg egged him on. “We’re all friends here.”
Jamie let out a long-suffering sigh before explaining with as few details as possible that he was back with Darius, for real this time.
“So, does that make you like a Countess or something?” Elle asked.
Jamie let out a groan. “Don’t objectify my boyfriend for his title,” he replied. “Besides, the partner of a Marquess is called a Marchioness, not that I…I mean, not that I’d be that, obviously.”
Ellen snorted. “Ooh, someone’s an expert.”
“I just thought I should read up on things,” Jamie replied. After his conversation with Darius during the marathon, he’d known he needed to look up the Hewitts properly. He’d been tired of being on the back foot every time someone mentioned something about Darius’s family, so he’d done some post-marathon reading after he crashed into his bed.
Reggie and Elle exchanged a look that Jamie felt was a little unfairly judgmental.
“So are you seeing him today?”
“No, I don’t want to seem desperate. We’ve got plans on Saturday,” Jamie whinged.
“But you are desperate.”
Fucking thanks, Elle. She was probably right, though, and he would like to see Darius as soon as possible. Maybe just to make sure things really were, well, ok with them. Saturday was a long way to wait, and Jamie’s insecurity in the relationship they’d barely rekindled was starting to grow.
His knee protested as he got up and made his way to the front to pay Elle; sitting for so long hadn’t done him any favours. Reggie looked on in concern. He knew he’d be in for a lecture about that soon. But as they stepped out onto Brick Lane, the fresh tattoo on his hip burned slightly, grounding him in the moment, and Jamie felt a renewed sense of pride in himself and what he could accomplish.
Darius had been exceptionally busy all week, and Jamie had as well—putting the final touches on his university application with Sebastien’s help. Sebastien clearly knew what was happening on Saturday but was conspiring with Darius to keep Jamie in the dark. It was incredibly annoying.
Jamie and Darius had spoken every day, easily falling into their old pattern of late-night conversations, but they had deftly avoided discussing their relationship at all.
Jamie hadn’t managed to see him, and he still wasn’t entirely sure where they stood. Emotions had been running wild during the marathon, but now, with a bit of distance, his insecurities were back in full force. He couldn’t help but think that maybe Darius was avoiding him—like he was worried about being seen with him. He wanted to ask outright, but a tiny part of him was afraid he wouldn’t get the answer he hoped for.
By the time the big secret Saturday event finally rolled around, Jamie’s nerves were on fire. Darius had asked him to meet him at Haven, the youth centre Jamie had fundraised for. The place meant a lot to Jamie. It was where they’d had their firstnot-date-date, which felt like a lifetime ago. Jamie figured Darius’d be making a big donation or something, but he didn’t want to spoil whatever surprise he had in mind.
He tried on every outfit in his wardrobe before finally settling on a pair of jeans and a plain blue T-shirt. He thought it made his eyes pop, and he wanted any advantage he could get. He grabbed a hoodie on his way out the door because the spring weather was nothing if not unpredictable and shoved it in his backpack, which also somewhat optimistically contained his toothbrush and a change of clothes.
The ride over to the centre was long, as usual. He had to change trains multiple times, which was better in a way—less quiet time to overthink. Jamie wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have forgiven Darius so quickly. He’d embarrassed him, hurt him and dredged up every feeling of inadequacy that he had spent so long burying. He’d been emotional during the marathon and just wanted the one thing back in his life that had made him feel good. He loved him, but he worried about whether they’d be able to withstand the pressure they were sureto face… if they could trust each other this time. Thinking about it now, and maybe this truly was a sign of growing up, he did recognise that he had played a pretty significant role in allowing the distrust between them to fester.
He’d been secretive and distant, hiding behind the pretence of a fake relationship because he was too afraid to admit how much he wanted him, and hadn’t ever told Darius anything about his past. He’d tried to beeasy-going Jamie, the one who always had an wry grin and seductive trick up his sleeve to break Darius out of the funk he’d been in. The truth was, though, he didn’t actually want to be that guy anymore.
Jamie wanted stability, he wanted purpose, and to do something that made an impact on the world.
He walked up to the centre and rang the buzzer. He was early, and Jade was still running around setting up banners about the new initiative, which was being sponsored by…The Hewitt Foundation. Jamie paused in front of the sign, everything starting to slot into place.
Then he saw them.
Darius broke free from the cluster of athletes near the makeshift stage to greet Jamie, pulling him into a tight hug and pressing a kiss to his cheek. It was somehow both more and less than Jamie needed in that moment.
As the room had started to fill, the event starting, Darius jogged up to the stage where he sat with Jackson, Sebastien, and another man and woman Jamie didn’t recognise, a small scattering of press surrounding them.
A brief speech from Jade introduced the centre and welcomed the founders of the Hewitt Foundation, and their collaboration that would bring athletics training as well as health services to youth centres like this across the country. Cheers rang out as she finished, and a group of teenagers Jamie recognised from their visit launched streamers into the air.
Then Darius took the microphone, and Jamie could practically smell his hesitation. He knew how much Darius hated this kind of thing, but to the rest of the world, he was the very portrait of a calm, collected athlete. There was a piece of streamer stuck to his head from the party poppers that had gone off. Jamie focused on it, unsure of whether he would storm the stage or burst into tears if he looked Darius in the eye. What on earth had he done to deserve a chance with this incredible man?
Darius, though, was looking straight at Jamie.
“Mr Hewitt?”
