Page 16 of Your Pace or Mine
“I wanted to talk to you about something important,” Ellison said. “Later this year, I’m retiring.”
Darius frowned deeply, but it wasn’t really a surprise. He didn’t speak immediately. He simply watched his coach, waiting for more.
“I’ve been at this for a long time, and I’ve had the privilege of coaching some of the best runners in the world—including you and Jennings. But it’s time to move on, spend more time with my family now Em’s in remission”
“I’m sorry,” Darius replied. “Of course, you should prioritise time with her.”
Silence fell between them for a moment. “Is that why Anders...?”
“I’ve no doubt the Athletic Association saw the writing on the wall and wanted to bring someone younger in, give them a shot.”
Darius took a long sip of his coffee.
Ellison continued, “I want to see you and Jennings on that Olympic team, Darius. Even if I’m not there to coach it. You’ve earned it.”
Darius finally spoke, voice quieter than usual. “Anders will never let me on it. I don’t even understand what I did to makehim hate me so much, but now he’s got everyone convinced I’m some sort ofhomophobe. There’s no way I’ll sway the rest of the selection committee.”
“It’s not something you did, Darius,” Ellison admitted. “I’ve known Eric Anders for a long time, and he’s a great coach, brilliant even, but the man can hold a grudge.”
“He really does believe what he’s saying about me, then?” Darius asked. “That I’m just a darker-skinned copy of a grandfather I don’t even remember?”
Ellison sighed. “It’s not my place, Darius. What I can tell you is that I doubt it’s about you at all. Eric and your father go back a long way. But either way, you need to prove to him that you aren’t who he thinks you are.”
“And who does he think I am?”
“A privileged, close-minded brat that only cares about his own success.”
Darius cringed. “Don’t hold back or anything.”
Their food arrived. The bacon and sausages that had looked so appealing before seemed to taunt him.
“I know you care about more than accolades, Darius, but you’ve got to prove it to him.”
Darius let out a sarcastic laugh. “It might not be all I care about, but it’s all I’ve got going for me. I thought he wanted to win?”
“Not at the expense of what he considers his integrity.”
Darius cut into the bacon angrily as Ellison continued. “Darius, I’ve known you since you were ye’ high.” Ellison gestured to his knees, which was probably an exaggeration, but it got the point across. “I know you think you always need to win, but it shouldn’t define you.”
Darius nodded in agreement. It was true that Ellison had been around for a long time, but Darius couldn’t fully reconcile his coach’s advice with what his father had always said and what hehad come to believe during his career as a professional athlete.Second place was the first loser.
“Sometimes winning isn’t about coming in first.”
“Okay, Yoda,” Darius snarked.
Ellison let out a soft sigh. “You want to really prove to Anders that he’s wrong about you.”
“God, yes.”
“But you don’t want to tell—“
“No,” Darius interrupted. “Or at least, not when there’s really nothing to tell.”
“Waiting onthe one,are you?”
Darius ducked his head. “Something like that.”
“You need an angle if you don’t want your personal business out there. You’ll need to show him you’re a team player in other ways.”
