Page 78 of His Secret Betrayal
Did I really expect to play with fire and not get burned?
As I wrap the story up, my voice scratchy and hoarse, I peek over at Jax. My entire body is running hot and cold, clammy and sweaty as my heart slams against my rib cage. Maybe that’s a side effect of the pain orthe medications that are beginning to make my head swim, or maybe it’s the wave of humiliation and fear making my insides twist.
A broken sob nearly escapes me at the cold rage burning in his eyes, all my fears coming to life. Even on my worst day, even when I callously demanded he pick me over Maddison, I’ve never seen his body this rigid. His jaw is clenched so tightly, I half-expect his teeth to crack any second. His nostrils flair, rapid little breaths making his chest rise and fall.
I’m going to lose him…
When Jax stands, resuming his restless pacing, I use his distraction to my advantage to wipe away the tears pooling in the corner of my eye.
“I made a mistake…” I trail off, unable to continue forming words around the lump in my throat.
I’ve finally done it this time. He’s going to walk away from me, and I deserve it.
Jax faces the wall, two fingers squeezing the bridge of his nose as his shoulders hunch. “You almost destroyed yourself for her and she…fuck.”
“Jax,” I whisper, my voice cracking on the word.He can’t even stand to look at me. He’s my big brother and he won’t look at me.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his own voice thick with emotion.
I blink, letting those two words marinate as I turn them over and examine them. Did I mishear him? What does he have to be sorry for when I’m the one who betrayed him? “What?”
He looks so sad and desolate when he turns around that it makes my heart stutter. “I should have told you what kind of person she was sooner. It’s… You wouldn’t have been in this situation if I had just told you from the beginning, instead of trying to protect you. And I’m so, so fucking sorry.”
I gape at him, a relief so profound filling my lungs, it feels like the first real breath I’ve taken in over a year. Based on the way my knees are shaking, if I weren’t already lying down, I’d probably be on the ground right about now. My voice is so quiet, so timid when I speak again, Jax has to lean forward to hear me. “You don’t…you don’t hate me then?”
His face contorts and, within seconds, he’s at my bedside with his hand gripping mine so tightly it makes me wince. “How could I hate you for trying to protect the woman that’s supposed to be our mother? You had no way of knowing she’s a monster and—fuck!” He rips his hand away from mine, backing up a few steps before he resumes his angry, restless pacing.
It dawns on me then, as I watch him fidget and try to control his jerky movements, looking like he’s ready to bolt out of the room, that his earlier anger wasn’t directed at me.
His rage was—is—burning on my behalf.
Why does that make me want to weep? If my ribs weren’t broken and cracked, I would squeeze the shit out of him right now.
“She’s going to answer for what she did to you, and so are those two worthless shitheads.” He practically spits the words out, rolling his shoulders.
The vehemence in his tone, the underlying thread hinting at danger, sends a warning signal through every part of my consciousness. A trickle of unease seeps through my nerves, making me swallow as I warily regard him.
Oh, no.
“Jax,” I warn him.
“You aremybrother,” he growls.
Oh shit. This is bad.
Jax has always been a bit…protective—and possessive—over those he loves. Thankfully he isn’t typically a temperamental sort of guy, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen his body vibrate with so much fury. Honestly, I’m not even sure if he’s fully aware of what he’s saying.
I need to reel him in before he does something he regrets, like the time he stalked into my principal’s office in middle school and told her if she didn’t get my bullies under control, that he would bring them to heel himself. Which was super protective and came from a good place in his heart, sure. But you can’t go around low-key threatening minors, just like you can’t threaten bodily harm on people in general.
“Come sit down,” I try to coax him, keeping my voice soft. Of course, the bullheaded bastard doesn’t listen.
“Nobody is going to make you feel inferior, not even the woman who birthed us,” he snarls.
My heart begins to climb into my throat as he spins on his heel. Pushing up on my elbows, I grunt as the small movement sends a thousand tiny pinpricks of white-hot pain lancing through my ribs before promptly collapsing back down.
Fuckity, fuck, fuck…
“You can’t hurt her,” I call to his retreating back. “It would break Dad’s heart.” It’s a low blow, but based on the intense amount of pain racketing my body every time I try to move, I’m not getting out of bed without assistance anytime soon. All I have are my words.
