Page 41 of Coming Home
‘It must have driven you mad though, hearing me build him up to be a big hero while you, Rosina and Gran knew what he was really like and still you shielded me from the truth. Allowed me my fantasy dad.’
Keeping herself occupied helped Carmen rein in her emotions and accompanying thoughts about Sebastian. After spooning two sugars into Violetta’s tea and then pouring in the milk – just a drop, strong and sweet, how she liked it – Carmen answered.
‘How could I deny you that? You were so young and even though he was a terrible husband to me, he was still your daddy and you were entitled to your memories. Like I told you when Rosina blurted out the truth, he was two separate people, the daddy that you loved and the man who let me down. That’s why even now, I don’t mind that you talk about him. So stop worrying.’
‘I hate men sometimes. In fact, I hate them a lot of the time.’
The simple, shocking statement stopped Carmen mid-pour, and she replaced the jug of milk, focusing her attention on Violetta who was on the verge of tears.
‘Oh, love, what’s wrong? Come on, tell your old Mum.’ At which point Violetta broke down, sobbing like there was no tomorrow which prompted Carmen to race to the sink and grab the kitchen roll, then shoot over to the table to comfort her daughter.
Once Violetta had cried it out and calmed down, it turned out that her distress was nothing to do with men, but everything to do with her future.
It had been a lot to get her head around. Violetta dropped her bombshell about the bakery but Carmen had immediately promised her safe haven and in the New Year, a job at the garden centre to tide her over.
She pondered mentioning that Bern was moving in too, and also wondered how he would feel about Violetta and Darcy coming home. Having set Violetta’s mind at rest over money and work she decided to leave the Bern announcement until Sunday. What she couldn’t shake off was the feeling that the Darcy business had really rattled Violetta. Bloody Kyra and her perfect bloody dad.
Later, when Violetta dropped her off at the garden centre, Carmen reminded her puffy-eyed daughter that just because people put on the appearance of being a happy family, it didn’t mean that behind closed doors life was hunky-dory.
‘Just don’t go beating yourself up, love, and remember, anyone can put on a show and make out they are wonderful but it may not be the truth, the real them. Loads of women think they’ve bagged themselves a prize guy when in reality he’s a total pillock. And women are no better, we all have our secrets and believe me, none of us are perfect.’
In response, Violetta had managed a weak smile as she waved Carmen off. ‘I know, thanks Mum. For everything. I’ll see you on Sunday. I’ll explain it all to Rosie and Leo over lunch so let’s keep it between us till then, okay.’
Carmen nodded and after a quick wave, Violetta was gone.
* * *
The rattle of the back door sent Mitzi and Arthur bounding over, tails wagging like crazy as Bern entered the kitchen. Placing Petra on the floor so she could join in, Carmen went over to the table and after sprinkling water over the naan, popped them in the Aga.
Once the cacophony died down and the dogs returned to their resting places, Petra choosing the warmth of Arthur’s belly to cuddle, Carmen got a word in. ‘I thought you’d got lost. I didn’t hear the car; have you walked?’
‘Sorry, love. Yes, had a bit of engine trouble but it’s all sorted now. Something smells good.’
Carmen watched as he slipped off his boots and padded over to the table in his woolly socks. Not wanting to hear about the ins and outs of his mechanical problems, she asked instead about his trip to the solicitor. ‘Is everything all sorted with the house?’
Bern nodded and began setting the table. ‘Yep, all done and dusted. It was simple really, just signed a few papers and then I was on my way. Got all togged up in my fancy pants for nowt.’
‘Oh, good, about the solicitors, not the pants. Are you sure you’re okay? You look miles away.’
‘I’m fine, I promise. Bloody starving though, so get a wiggle on.’
Carmen laughed. ‘Coming right up, your Highness. It’s been all go here today, I can tell you. First Rosina rang in sick, then Violetta turned up for a heart to heart, and there’s something going on with Leonora and Caspar too. Sit yourself down and I’ll tell you all about it.’
Saying nothing and doing as he was told, Bern pulled out his chair and sat, looking concerned as he waited for Carmen to take hers at the top of the table. Seeing his expression she smiled. ‘Don’t look so worried, love. At least you’re not in trouble, not this time anyway.’ She gave him a wink and his hand a quick squeeze, letting him know that it was okay. She had it all under control, as always.
20
Violetta
Gawsworth Church, Cheshire
Present day
Violetta placed the bouquet of flowers on her father’s grave and stepped back, linking her arm through Rosina’s and Leonora’s, each of them silently lost in their own thoughts. It was another glorious winter day and the three sisters were braving a strong easterly wind that blew everyone’s hair over their faces and nipped at Violetta’s ankles in the space between the hem of her jeans and the top of her boots.
The graveyard was busy with people making their sombre pilgrimages and Violetta wondered if they were like them, the ones who turned up for birthdays, Father’s Day and Christmas because they felt they had to, appeasing guilt for not coming more often. She was sure that some of the visitors who milled about took great comfort from tending graves and having a few words with the dear departed. She didn’t. And as time went by and the more she became wiser to the world, disenchanted by it and her memories, Violetta found she was losing patience with the ritual.
Leonora gave her sister’s arm a squeeze. ‘Are you okay, Vi?’
