Page 35 of Blame
When her phone chirped into life it startled her once again. It was on loud from the radio and even though she knew she shouldn’t let Jed hear her like this – it wasn’t fair – she swiped the screen and answered his call.
It took a couple of attempts for her to explain what had happened although none of it made much sense. In between Jed telling her to breathe and take her time, she managed a garbled, hiccupping, hysterical one-sided conversation. The big black knickers were gone. She’d lost her keys then found them. But what if it was more than that? There was a noise upstairs but how had the latch come undone? And she couldn’t go out in the dark for oysters and mussels. She’d offended Luc and now Belle’s paw was squashed and it was all her fault. She’d made a terrible mistake but she was sorry–
‘Frankie, shush, please take a breath and listen to me. Focus on me, okay.’
When she descended into quiet, exhausted and feeling foolish, she realised she was scaring Belle and Oscar so hugged them for dear life, Frankie listened to Jed whose soothing voice and words lifted her heart and within seconds made it better, almost all right.
‘Frankie, listen to me, okay. I’m coming over. Just hang on for one more night and I’ll be there tomorrow. That’s what I rang to tell you.’
A sniff. ‘What do you mean… you’re coming over? You can’t, what about your dad? He needs you.’
‘Not as much as you need me… Look, I had a funny feeling you’d have a wobble so I had a word with Dad and explained, you know, about what happened to you. I’m sorry if you think I’ve overstepped the mark about personal stuff but once they knew the whole story they understood why I wanted to come over. In fact, Mum insisted.’
‘But… are you really going to be here? When? How will your dad manage?’ Frankie was in a whirl, her emotions all over the place, happiness, relief, guilt.
‘It’s all sorted, don’t worry. One of his mates in the trade is quiet so will fill in for me. They’re like a clan that lot. Someone always knows someone so Dad’s all organised. And anyway, I’ve never let him down in the past, not once, and I’ve not had a break for ages especially because of the virus so I’m definitely owed time off.’
‘Jed, I’m so glad, I can’t tell you how much… when are you coming?’
‘Tomorrow. I’ve booked a flight to Nantes so you’ll have to pick me up. Dad and Spud will follow on. I can get started on the work…’
‘No, no work for you, okay?’ Frankie quickly realised that might have come out a bit harsh so softened her tone. ‘What I mean is it’ll be nice for us to spend some time together and have a bit of a holiday. Like you say, it’s been a weird year and we both deserve to relax and have fun. We could go to the seaside and I’ll show you around. I’m so happy right now. From being in a pit to this, because of you.’
When he replied it was as though Frankie could see Jed’s smile down the phone. ‘So you’re not mad with me about blabbing to Mum and Dad, and you’re okay with me inviting myself over early?’
‘I’m not mad at you at all, I swear, and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I wanted to ask you to come over when we spoke earlier, it was on the tip of my tongue but didn’t want to guilt trip you and then I just went to pieces over stupid stuff. I’ve had a proper mardy meltdown, haven’t I?’
‘You’re not mard, Frankie. I just think that everything caught up with you, the move, starting over, being there on your own and then the news about your friend tipped you over the edge. You’ve probably been trying so hard to make it work that you didn’t notice the pressure you were putting yourself under.’
‘Maybe you’re right. And living in an empty house that looks a bit unloved doesn’t help. I’ve been marking time till you and your dad got here, it’s a bit like being in limbo land. I’m annoyed with myself, though, because despite my wobble I love it here, I really do.’
‘Don’t be annoyed… just start looking forward to having me there, I mean seriously what more could a girl wish for?’
Frankie’s gloom was well and truly banished by laughter and they spent the next few minutes making arrangements: he’d text his flight time; she’d ring Christalle and explain she’d had bad news but would be over soon. Jed was off to the retail park to buy some new shorts, and a pair of Speedos for the beach, and Frankie hoped he was kidding.
Once they’d signed off with promises to speak later that evening, she lifted the Frenchies off her knee and stretched stiff legs, then unlocked the door and pulled it open, the warmth of the day touching her skin and face. Okay, so she’d had a meltdown, and there might even be more on the horizon but if that happened Jed would be by her side, for a while anyway.
* * *
Frankie placed the mug of tea on the step, Belle and Oscar snuggled by her side. They always seemed to miss her so much even though she’d only stayed at Christalle and Luc’s for an hour, enough time to enjoy their company and assure them she was okay. Her woes had been firmly banished after a search of the bin liner where she found her missing underwear and after the relief came determination, not to miss out on oysters and pink fizz. Her neighbours were the best tonic and as they waved her off said how much they were looking forward to meeting Jed the following day. And in turn, Frankie was taken aback by how much she wanted to show him off.
But before that there was something she needed to do and if it meant she had another little weep in private, then so be it. Frankie wanted to wallow for a while and take a walk down memory lane via the photos in her albums that were placed on her knee.
Amidst such terrible sadness and tragedy, she wanted to pay tribute to the good times and a woman, a girl, a teenager, who’d been a big part of her life.
Wrapping the blanket around her shoulders and covering the Frenchies with the rest, Frankie took a moment, mesmerised by the view that was gradually melting away, vibrant green valleys and fields of crops becoming a smudge of grey, peppered by the red winking beacons marking the row of invisible wind turbines. The warm yellow fairy lights that were hung around the garden made her think of fairies, good spirits, angels, protecting her from harm.
So as the sun set on a salmon-pink horizon, Frankie turned the first page of the album and gazed at the photo of three daft girls on Bonfire Night, focusing on Bea and Scarlet. One of them was too far away to hear her words when she told them she missed them; the other was now a ghost. Frankie’s eyes were awash with warm tears which she flicked away. Sighing, she smiled and touched their faces one by one. Imagining that Scarlet was sitting beside her, Frankie told her she missed her, would never forget her, but most of all she was sorry.
21
Ican’t wait any longer, I really can’t. I need to do it again. I have to, otherwise this thing inside me will explode, or consume me, and I’m in control now, this is my time.
It’s a risk, I accept that, but my alibi is becoming flaky so if I’m to succeed, I have to press on. The clock is ticking and if I’m to get away with it I need to hurry. The police are chasing their tails, looking for a burglar that doesn’t exist but once I’ve killed again they could make the link. Then again, this lot aren’t exactly Poirot, or Morse. To be on the safe side it will have to look like a terrible accident, and people will say afterwards, ‘Well fancy that, what a coincidence, the two of them going so close together.’ No, you stupid people, it’s not a coincidence, or fate. It’s revenge, pure, unadulterated, thrilling revenge.
The big question that gnaws away inside is will I get away with a third? I will if I’m careful but I have to find the little bitch first and that’s what I intend to do tomorrow, then I’ll sort out Bea Butler. She was easy to find, but Frankie is proving a challenge. I’d toyed with hiring a private detective to track her down. However, that’s too risky: they could blab. And anyway, why spend good money when I’ve had an idea where to look for her. It was obvious really: at Mummy and Daddy’s house. Somewhere in there, be it on a laptop or tablet, probably on a calendar in the kitchen, they’ll have written down her address. That’s what parents do.
If not, then I’ll have to sit back and watch the police run about like fools. That’ll keep me occupied until this sham existence is over because believe you me, it really is starting to test my patience. Being in the company of someone who is far too needy and drains my batteries is a trial, but I require an alibi.
