Page 51 of #MeToo
‘No, I don’t. He was a cheat and used me so he deserved it. Now is that it? We can’t stand here talking about the past all day. We’ve got to get ready and you can’t turn up looking like that. Do you want to borrow something of mine? Come on, the saddos will be waiting for their star turn to arrive.’
Billie felt physically sick, dazed and now, even more confused. ‘Sorry, who do you mean, what saddos?’
‘The whiners, you know, Jude and her little gang of downtrodden women who haven’t got the sense to get out of their miserable little lives. And while we’re there you need to take a good look around and be grateful you met me otherwise that’s how you could’ve ended up. Now come on, get a wiggle on.’ Kelly had turned again, cocky as hell, and grabbed Billie’s arm as if to guide her from the room and hurry her along.
Billie yanked it away, couldn’t bear to be touched, and now, the anger she’d held in for so long was evident in her voice when she rounded on Kelly. ‘Seriously, is that how you think of them? Is that how you think of me? All those women are there for a reason: they need help and support because they are trapped, or hurting and damaged. I can’t believe you’d say that after you’ve listened to their stories and they listened to yours. You sat there, Kelly, you held their hands, helped them out. They think you’re their friend and now you’re mocking them and me.’
Billie noticed that Kelly just about managed to cover her smirk but the exasperated sigh escaped and when she spoke, her voice was laced with sarcasm, harsh too. ‘Oh stop being mard. I’m only speaking the truth. Once today’s over I’d already decided I’m not going back. They’ve served their purpose and I can’t be arsed with it and anyway, we’ll be jetting off to the sun soon and I don’t need that lot making me feel miserable. Now come on, look, we’re going to be late.’
Billie couldn’t take any more. She had to get out of there and see Aiden. She was losing it, barely hanging onto her temper but she still hadn’t got the phone. Maybe they didn’t need it. It could be useless anyway, and Eddie might confess.What to do, what to do?Panic was washing over her as she tried to focus and think. ‘I’m not coming. You can go by yourself. I don’t feel up to it.’
Kelly began gathering her things from the table and her head snapped around when she heard, then came the cajoling tone. ‘Oh don’t be like that. I want you to come and support me in case I get nervous. That’s what besties are for.’
‘I said I’m not coming.’ Billie grabbed her coat from the chair and as she did, her phone began to ring but in her haste, before she had time to even see who was calling, it flipped from the top pocket and crashed to the floor before skidding across the tiles. The ringing stopped as Billie scooped it up and saw the screen was smashed and black. ‘Fuck, that’s all I need.’
Kelly was blocking the door and looked angry. ‘Hey, what’s wrong? Okay, look, I’m sorry if I offended you about the group, you know me – a spade’s a spade – but I was only messing about. I got carried away so let’s start again and I promise, I’ll be really nice to them when I get there. Is that a deal? Do you forgive me?’
Dear God,thought Billie as she squared up to Kelly in the doorway,she really is like fucking Jekyll and Hyde.She had to play this carefully. She risked arousing Kelly’ suspicions or starting a full-on row.
‘Yes I forgive you and I’m sorry for being a touchy cow but seriously, I need to go outside. I feel sick and my head is pounding so a bit of fresh air will do me good.’
A whiny voice cut through the tension. ‘Are you sure that’s all that’s wrong? And you can’t bail on me now, not after I’ve bared my soul to you. Please Beth, don’t be like this.’
‘Like I said, I don’t feel well. It’s the wine and the chocolate biscuits, and the pills, that’s all.’ There was a voice inside Billie’s head screamingGET OUTand it provoked a knee-jerk reaction. Panic, desperation and rage were building by the second, like someone shaking a bottle of pop then taking off the lid. When it exploded, Kelly would have felt the full force of Billie’s strength as she pushed her aside, ramming her back into the door jamb. With lemonade fizzing through her veins Billie almost ran to the door and pulled it open, ignoring Kelly’s pleas for her to come back.
Then firm hands grabbed her coat and she was forced to stop. Billie found Kelly’s face pushed against hers. Angry eyes accompanied the incredulous voice. ‘Beth! What the fuck is wrong with you?’
‘Kelly, let go, I want to be on my own, to think stuff through, okay? It’s all been a bit much and I need to get my head straight, that’s all.’
Kelly relaxed her grip. ‘Straight about what? I don’t understand.’
Billie said the first thing that zapped into her head. ‘About Davey, and moving out. It’s a big step even though he is a twat.’
Kelly squinted, eyeing Billie as she spoke. ‘You won’t tell anyone will you, what I said about Stan and Eddie, promise?’
‘No, of course not, promise. I said I wouldn’t and anyway, all that Stan stuff has got nothing to do with me. It’s your business so don’t worry. We’re mates, our secret okay? My head’s a mess so you get going to the centre. You don’t really need me there.’
Kelly still had questions. ‘Are you going to come back? Please don’t tell me you’re going home to him.’
Billie managed to twist free from Kelly’s grip as she spoke and pulled her reassuring voice out of the bag, anything to get away. ‘No chance. I think I’ll go and see my mum, let her know I’m okay and get my pressies. I’ll come back in a bit. We can get a takeaway or something, and I’ll try to get my phone fixed then I can text you. You’d best hurry up or you’ll be late. See you later, okay?’
Billie backed away from Kelly who looked a mixture of crestfallen and suspicious, but maybe the thought of missing her big moment snapped her out of it because she suddenly rallied. That psycho smile was too bright, fake as fuck really, and then she began to wave Billie off.
‘Okay, you do look a bit peaky… text as soon as your phone is fixed. The takeaway’s on me, whatever you fancy.’ Then she turned and shut the door.
Without a second’s hesitation Billie took the steps three at a time before bursting through the main doors onto the street, sucking in air. Despite the tears and the angry hysterical sobs that made her gasp and struggle for breath, Billie’s legs sprang into action and she ran.
People stared and one man called out and asked if she was okay as Billie raced almost blindly towards where she prayed Aiden was still waiting in his car. She thought her heart would explode but the sight of a familiar face broke through the panic, he was there, Aiden, running towards her, his arms outstretched. When their bodies collided Billie collapsed into him, crying and gulping her apologies, ignoring his pleas for her to shush as he frantically wiped tears from her face.
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s no good, Aiden, she told me, she admitted it, she said it to my face that she lied but we have no proof, I should have recorded her… why didn’t I record her? And I couldn’t get the phone but we can get Doog to break in and pinch it, yes, that’s what we’ll do. But it was Eddie, she got the money from him. Let’s go and see him right now, make him go to the police and tell them. That’ll work, won’t it? Stan can’t stay there anymore. He didn’t do it, Aiden. My Stan told the truth, he didn’t do it…’ Billie was now a gibbering wreck but responded when she felt Aiden shake her hard.
He was almost shouting in her face. ‘Billie, STOP! Listen, Billie, just shush. It’s okay, I know, I saw it all, everything that Kelly said. It’s going to be okay now, I promise.’
Aiden fixed Billie with his grey eyes, waiting until her breathing slowed and she could take in what he was saying.
‘Now listen to me, Billie. I don’t know how the hell you did it, because knowing you it was a fluke, but, somehow, after you posted a selfie of you and Kelly, you hit the going live button and everything that happened in that kitchen has been shared on Facebook. Do you understand?’
Billie shook her head, still confused.
