Page 48 of Handling Skylar
“Cinnamon apple cake.”
“What are those beautiful trees?” she asked.
“Cypress and those over there are tupelo. They only grow in swamps. Their bases are wider to give them better balance in this environment. Majestueux is filled with cypress wood. It’s beautiful.”
“I’ve only caught glimpses of the house. It looks magnificent.”
“It is,” I said. “It’s home.” I closed my eyes, tightening my arms around Sky. She seemed to understand without me even telling her that my thoughts had once again centered on my daddy. I had worked so closely with him over the years after Chase left, feeling proprietary and self-righteous because I had been the loyal son and stayed. How little I knew back then, totally unaware of how my brother must have struggled. I had been alone within my family, but Chase had endured complete isolation and distance. For the first time, I put myself in my brother’s shoes, and I came up lacking.
“I agreed to be the best man at my brother’s wedding.”
She rose and looked at me, her eyes shining. She smiled and threw her arms around me. “Oh, Jake, that’s wonderful.” When she pulled away, she stroked my jaw and kissed my mouth. “How are you feeling now about your dad? Something tells me not too good.”
I nodded. The cycle of emotions never seemed to end in a place where the past never seemed to go away. I could understand fully why Sky had decided to move away, but I hadn’t lost my family. My brother, sister and parents were all alive and I felt ungrateful knowing that Sky had lost her family and her home.
“I should get past this and forgive him. I just feel blindsided by all these feelings that I’d buried and transferred to my brother who didn’t deserve them.”
She framed my face with her hands and said, “You are the only one who can decide how you feel. Shouldn’t and couldn’t don’t really matter. She tilted my head up, her eyes direct and warm with her passion. My throat tightened. “I know deep guilt and remorse. I say channel those emotions into a positive future. Forgiving can only start when you’ve healed from the years of suppressing your true feelings.”
“I know, but I’ve spent so much time being unhappy, and I’m tired of thinking about the past. What happened, happened. I want to move on. Need to. I just don’t know where I’m going to be, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pissed that my daddy is making decisions that affect me without consulting me.”
“You don’t know that. You have no idea what’s going on. Isn’t it fair to wait until he’s ready to also talk about his plans?”
I gave her a disgruntled look because she was right. “Why do you always say the right thing?”
“I have experience. I know, babe. I get it totally. But, somewhere in all this self-blaming, you need to find a way to forgive yourself, not only for your brother, but for the way you dealt with everything. It’s always reactionary when you discover something you hadn’t realized was true, but once you’ve had some time to assimilate everything, you’ll find out that you, too, deserve to be forgiven.”
As we paddled back toward the house, I couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said. At the shore, we got out of the kayaks and secured them on her rack that was positioned up against the house.
Inside, we changed into drier clothes and she started dinner while I flipped on the TV to check the forecast. When she called that it was ready, we ate.
“How are you doing with the brush situation in the Elliott Grove?”
“Pretty much done. I’m going to assess the nuts on Monday and see what we have, but it looks good. I think I can have that grove producing by next year, most definitely in two. As for the harvest, everything looks good for the festival. We’ll start shaking the trees the day before the festival opens.”
“It’s coming up fast, but I think we’re in good shape,” she said.
I nodded. “We are. Everything is progressing nicely.”
“Can I come out when you start harvesting? I feel a real affinity to the orchard after putting in so much time there.”
I leaned back and grinned at her, feeling great that she was so interested in what I did for a living. “I would love that.” She smiled, her expressive eyes holding mine. “After seeing you on that tractor, looking like a sexy farm girl, I sure wouldn’t be averse to seeing you working heavy machinery.”
The glimmer of amusement intensified, and she responded, her tone pointed. “I’m not just good at working heavy machinery.”
“Is that so? Care to give me a demonstration?”
“Maybe.”
“Oh? What is it going to cost me?”
She laughed and I felt lighter than air. “You clean up the kitchen.”
“Clean the kitchen? That’s going to get you hot and bothered enough to give me the demonstration I would move heaven and earth to have?”
“Oh, yeah, baby, rubber gloves, apron, that tight backside at the sink. Those strong arms washing and drying. Only thing hotter would be you doing the laundry or better yet, ironing.”
“Ironing? Now you’re getting me hot.”
