Page 38 of Buon Natale, My Wicked Rogue
“What did Mrs. Kingston have to say?” he asked unnecessarily.
Was he going to make her repeat the whole matter?
She drew her shoulders square and lifted her chin. “I think you know, my lord.”
He pressed his hand over his mouth momentarily, gripping his chin. A gesture of defense, a ploy to gain time. She could forgive him for that weakness. This was a serious matter. His shoulders sagged; he dropped his hand and took a deep breath. “I’d rather hear the story as she told it to you and as you understand it.”
“Very well, my lord.”
“Please stop calling me that and in that frosty tone. Now tell me how she related the events.”
She told him in clipped words, as fast as she could get the words out, for each one tasted acrid on her tongue. Then she finished with a few choice thoughts, “Just who were those menyou set to attack the two of us? Criminals from Highgate that you paid?”
Outrage lit his eyes. “Now that’s just vicious. How could you think so little of me?”
“I find that I do not know you, my lord. How can I judge anything about you with any confidence now? I trusted you, and you broke my trust.” She sniffled and swallowed against rising tears. “And broke my heart.”
He flinched. “I was working for the Home Office, as Mrs. Kingston said. I didn’t know anything about you except that you were a wealthy American widow, a prominent businesswoman suspected of being an industrial spy.”
“You had no problem changing course and seducing me.”
He gaped at her. “Let’s not go changing history. You were willing.”
“I didn’t know the truth. I thought you were just some feckless rake.”
He gaped again. “A feckless rake?”
“That is how you portrayed yourself. You were worried about my wardrobe and my hairstyle. You wanted me to be a pretty present you could unwrap for Christmas.”
He grimaced. “I see your point. And how do you see me now?”
“I see that you are, in truth, a shrewd, deceptive rogue who cared nothing for lying to me and destroying my trust and crushing my heart.”
“That’s not how it was. It’s true that my first intention was to investigate the truth about you and your reasons for being in England. And I used the methods available to me.”
“The ‘methods’ available to you? Ah, yes, those were my attraction to you, my liking, and my trust in you. These were gifts that I gave to you because I thought you were worthy. I thought you were worthy of my love. Worthy of being my husband and father to my children.”
He opened his mouth but said nothing, apparently unable to come up with any defense.
“I fell in love with you,” he said finally. “I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world. I love you more than my own life.”
She would be lying to herself to say his declaration had no effect upon her. She placed her hand on her forehead. “Once I admitted the truth about my visit and my father, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you disclose everything and give us an honest start?”
“You waited to tell me the truth about your father.”
“I did that to protect myself in a foreign land where I was unsure that I could trust anyone. And in the end, I couldn’t trust you.” She shook her head. “Evan-”
“At least we are back to Evan now,” he said wryly.
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t make light of this. Don’t make light of us. Don’t mock my feelings.” She inhaled deeply, trying to regain her bearings. “Jacob always made sport of my feelings. I was young then. I didn’t know how to react. I’ll never accept it from you or anyone else ever again.”
He stared at her gravely. “I am sorry, Angela. It was a thoughtless gesture to lighten the mood. But you are correct.This matter cannot be minimized. I should have told you all when I knew you were no spy.”
Her blood cooled a degree or two at his apology. “Maybe a part of this is knowing that you were bedding me, wringing all those personal confidences out of me about my life, and all the while, you believed that I might be hanged for treason.”
