Page 86 of The Dark Mage
She chewed her lip, fighting a mixture of grief and guilt, love and anxiety.Fael traced her cheekbone slowly, patient for the next words.
“She loved me so much,” Ren’wyn continued.“She wanted to protect me from my father’s abuse, but...he had enough cruelty for both of us.After a while, she stopped fighting.I think she gave up.She couldn’t see a way out.I wish she could have been free.I wish she’d fallen in love with someone who loved her back.I wish she’d been able to master her magic instead of hiding it.
“I loved her, Fael.But…” Ren’wyn took a deep breath against the tightness in her throat, the weight in her chest.“She stopped trying.She was lost in her own pain.She let him define me, hammering in my smallness day after day.In her own way, she failed me too.She didn’t hurt me—not like he did—but she...she didn’t stop it either.”
Fael pressed a soft kiss to her temple.“There was more she could have done,” he said, his voice careful.“That’s not me saying she was a bad person.”
She stiffened at his words, but he ran soothing hands over her arms.“She was broken too,” he continued.“It’s not fair—what either of you had to live through.”
Long minutes passed in silence as Fael’s hand moved rhythmically across her back.She leaned into him, breathing in the lingering scent of lavender soap from theinn.
“Your turn,” she whispered.
Fael huffed a small laugh.“Not going to take it easy on me?”
She burrowed closer in response.
“My mother was beautiful.Kind.Fierce.She had fire in her blood.”His words were wistful, and she grinned at the image of a small Fael learning his strength from his mother.
“My father...he forced himself on her.She was the first mistress he ever got pregnant, so he married her—against her will.She hated him.Most days, I hope that hate made his life a livinghell.”
Ren’wyn’s anger rose at the injustice, but she curled into his body, offering what comfort she could.
“After I was born—a healthy son—he sent us away.Gave us attendants to keep us cared for...and caged.”Fael’s voice hardened.“We lived on the outskirts of the Capital, isolated.My father only visited once or twice a year to check on my ‘progress.’He was this...stranger who loomed over mylife.
“But my mother?”Fael’s voice softened.“She taught me everything that mattered.She taught me to honor my magic.To use it justly.She taught me to ride, to cook over a fire, to camp under the stars...and how to kill if I had to.”
Ren’wyn felt his smile against her neck, warmth spreading from his hand as it swirled over herskin.
“Mmm...don’t stop,” she whispered.
Fael chuckled and continued, his hand brushing down her spine.
“The day after I turned ten, my father came and tore me from her.He stuffed me into a carriage and sent me to train, and I never saw her again.
“They told me she died of a lung illness two years later.”His voice hitched with sorrow.“But about seven years ago, Dirne and I were on patrol.We were ambushed by rebels, and Dirne was shot.He knew he was dying, and he told me...my father poisonedher.”
“Oh, Fael...”Ren’wyn whispered.She pulled him closer, squeezing him like she could chase away his oldpain.
“I know,” he said into her hair, his fingers trailing her spine again.“Your story is its own heartache too.Some days, it’s toomuch.”
Ren’wyn hummed softly in agreement.They were both broken in different ways, but this—what they shared—felt whole.
Fael’s hand drifted down to her waist, his fingers brushing just beneath the edge of her nightshirt.
“Ren’wyn,” he whispered.“You are so much more than he ever let you believe.I want to climb into every broken memory and tear him out ofthem.”
Her eyes stung as she replied, “I’m trying to believe that...I really am.Your mother deserved better,Fael.”
“She did,” he agreed.“My father’s a bastard.It took me long enough to figure thatout.”
Ren’wyn heard the simmering anger in his tone, but he sighed, releasing it.“No more about our fathers,” he added, the venom in his voice enough to stop any further questions.
She nodded.It didn’t matter, really.She didn’t need to know his father, and he’d never know hers.Maybe that was how it was meant to be.
The forest was alive with the soft chirping of crickets, the soothing sound a pleasant counterpart to Fael as he rubbed her back and shoulders.She melted into him, reassured by the heat of his body.His fingers brushed light patterns on her stomach as his breath slowed, warm against herneck.
Letting her eyes flutter closed, Ren’wyn sank into calm comfort as his heartbeat thudded under her palm.His breath slowed as sleep claimed him first, and she drifted soon after, safe in hisarms.
