Page 41 of Moth Manager
I snicker. He does not. I re-sober my expression. I’m trying very hard to maintain a polite demeanor, but quickly loosing my motivation. “Sorry.” I try to cover for my faux-pas.
“It’s a good job.” His brows furrow.
“Oh, yeah! Of course, it is!” My nervous laugh bubbles up a third time. “I mean, obviously you are doing great! Just look at you!”
He leans back with a small frown. “We can’t all be computer geniuses.”
Another brief chuckle escapes my lips.
“Is that funny?” He raises an eyebrow.
“Sorry.”
His face doesn’t change with my apology.
“It’s just that, please believe me, I’m not a computer genius.”
“That’s not how your mother tells it,” he crosses his arms. “She said you were top of your class in college.”
“Really? I never would’ve expected that!” I joke with another little laugh, because of just how expected that is. Mom loves bragging about her kids accomplishments. Alex twists his head slightly to the side, like he is examining a particularly difficult to decipher work of art. So I continue the joke to make it more obvious. “Because that’s so totally unlike her!”
“You laugh a lot, huh?” he finally asks.
“Oh. Sorry,” I apologize again, a little taken aback. I feel my grin become awkward. I don’t think I’ve had a really awkward smile all weekend. “It’s just a bit of a nervous tick.”
He’s still looking at me like my face is a cubist portrait. “You’re nervous?”
“Well yeah, you know?” I manage to squash the awkward feeling into a less invasive chuckle this time. “Just like, a little bit, all of the time.”
“Hmph.” He shrugs. “So you are always like this?”
Every part of me deflates, my energy completely gone. I can hear in his voice that he’s trying to be polite, or that hethinkshe’s being polite. It’s absolutely brutal. After two full days feeling like I was allowed to be myself, with a person who immediately understood me.
I might hate Alex. I definitely resent him.
I feel like leaving, but I just don't have the heart to upset the cat in my lap.
“It can be a lot louder.” I roll my shoulders back. “That’s all I really am. Just big tits, and a loud laugh.”
“Oh, I’m sure there’s more than that. Once people get to know you.” He sounds strangely earnest.
I chuckle. “Not really. And I only plan on getting fatter and happier from here on out.”
“Hmph.” It’s the only noise that he makes for a long moment.
"What would you do?" I barely care anymore. "If I laughed when you took your pants off?”
"Laughed?" he asks slowly.
“You know. When I got a good look at your dick.” I keep my voice light and peppy. “If I just laughed real loud? Because that’s what you have to look forward to.”
“Is that some kind of joke?” he asks.
I shrug, but don’t even stop myself from making a loud embarrassing bark of a laugh. One that takes two full lungs of air.
The man cringes.
I shake my head. “I don’t think we’d be a good fit, Alex. Maybe not even physically.” I chuckle again, just for myself. I let it be the annoying kind because it doesn’t matter anymore. How could this guy stand up to Mothman dick? After the weekend I had, I might be ruined for regular human penis. I’m certainly ruined for men who don’t let me have fun in the bedroom.
