Page 54 of Bad for Business
She’s doing it again.
Pretending nothing happened between us.
I should’ve expected it. I don’t even know if I blame her after the way I ran out last night. But it doesn’t make it suck any less.
My molars grind together so hard it hurts. I don’t stop clenching my jaw, needing to keep it shut for at least a few more seconds so I can gather my thoughts before saying something I regret.
Actually, fuck it. I don’t care if I say something I regret.
“Really?” I ask, not bothering to hide the upset tone of my voice. “Nothing happened? It didn’t feel like nothing when you were coming all over my fingers.”
Even through the reflection, I can see how her eyes go wide and her nostrils flare. “Ryker,” she scolds.
“What? I’m not saying anything that didn’t happen.”
She closes her eyes for a moment. “Nothing happened. Nothing can happen between us. I’m your publicist, and you’re my client.”
“And you were my publicist last night when you fucked my fingers so greedily you were practically screaming my name. It didn’t seem to matter then. Why’s it matter now?”
Her entire body stiffens at my words as they take her by surprise.
They shock me too. I’m not normally so confrontational. I sure as hell don’t typically lose my cool the way I am now, but I can’t help it. Blood rushes through my ears as I try to get a hold of the anger coursing through my veins.
“Nothing happened,” Camille repeats.
I’ve never hated a phrase more in my life. I never want to hear her say it again.
“Is it because I left after?” I ask, hating the vulnerability that breaks through my tone. I much preferred being angry. That’s also a foreign emotion to me, but right now, I’d rather be upset with her than be vulnerable. “I don’t know why I ran out like that,” I lie. I know damn well why I did, but she doesn’t need to. “But I shouldn’t have.”
“You did the right thing,” she responds, her voice cold. In fact, her entire demeanor right now is cold. We’re right back to where we started a few weeks ago, and I’m coming to terms that I don’t think there’s anything I can do to change it.
I let out a sarcastic laugh. I hate that during this entire conversation, she hasn’t once even looked me in the eye.
“Yeah,” I finally get out, realizing that maybe all the times I’ve been annoyed with her have been completely justified. I wasn’t ever going to change her opinion of me, no matter what happens between us. I’m enough for her to hook up with, but not for her to want to acknowledge the next day. I don’t know why I believed it could be different. “You’re right. I did the right thing.”
A numbness settles over me as I come to terms with the fact that all these times I’ve acted like I didn’t like her, it was the complete opposite. I do like her. I’m attracted to her. She consumes my mind in a way no one has before.
But in an effort to protect myself, I played the game with her. If she wanted to fight, I’d fight and pretend I hated her. The whole time, the only thing I hate is that I can’t hate her.
“Made any progress today?” she asks, finally getting the nerve to meet my gaze.
I swallow, realizing that now I don’t want her to look at me. It hurts. I need just a little more time to build my walls to protect myself from being hurt by her again.
It isn’t lost on me that the first time she finally looks at me is when we go back to talking about work. She’s making it clear that our relationship is work. Nothing else. At least now I know where we stand. I don’t have to wonder anymore.
The professional thing to do would be to answer her.
But right now, I don’t want to be professional. I just want out of this bathroom and away from her look of complete indifference.
Saying nothing else to her, I turn around and leave her alone in the bathroom. That’s what she wanted in the first place.
“Ryker!” she angrily yells after me.
I ignore her, roughly pushing open the door to the bathroom and quickly walking back to the grill. I don’t even go back to the table. The first thing I do is head straight to the bar.
“What can I get you?” Davis, one of my favorite bartenders, asks.
“Something strong as hell,” I respond, tapping my knuckles against the counter.
