Page 29 of Arranged with Twins
“I think, hope not, and pray I’m wrong.” I set down the untouched croissant and lean back against the couch cushions. “I’ve missed two periods, I can’t keep food down, and everything smells wrong. I haven’t taken a test because...”
“Because you’re scared of knowing the truth.” She finishes the thought when I can’t. “Gotcha. Been there in college, but it was a false alarm. I understand that real means dealing with consequences you’re not ready to face though.”
I nod, grateful she understands without requiring detailed explanations. A pregnancy alters everything about my arrangement with Leo, my future, and the careful distance we’ve maintained since agreeing to keep business and pleasure separate. We can’t co-parent if we can’t even be in the same room together for a few minutes if cameras aren’t on us.
“What are you going to do if the test is positive?” Nadia’s voice is carefully neutral, free of judgment or pressure.
“I don’t know.” The admission comes with a rush of relief at finally voicing my confusion aloud. “Leo and I aren’t even really together. We’re business partners playing roles for the cameras.He made it very clear that what happened between us was a mistake driven by stress and poor judgment.”
“Maybe his perspective would change if he knew about this.”
“Or maybe he’d see it as another tool for control?” The possibility makes my stomach clench with something worse than nausea. “Nadia, in Leo’s world, everything becomes leverage. A pregnancy wouldn’t be about a baby or a future family. It would be about binding me to him permanently, about ensuring I can never leave or challenge his authority, and he’d take over everything…my life, the child’s…” I sniff back tears.
Nadia considers this with the seriousness it deserves. She’s seen enough of my parents’ marriage to understand how power dynamics can poison relationships and love becomes secondary to control when money and influence are involved. “You can’t know that for sure until you tell him.” She speaks carefully, as though testing the words as they come. “Maybe Leo isn’t like your parents. He might surprise you.”
“Maybe.” I don’t sound convinced, even to myself, because I have no hope that he is different. He’s worse, because he’s not just controlling me to be an asset but to protect me against whatever dangers hide in his murky world. “Right now, I need to know what I’m dealing with before I make any decisions about who to tell or when.”
She digs into her oversized purse and passes over a small box. “I stopped at the pharmacy on my way over. Call it intuition or just keen observation skills.”
I stare at the pregnancy test like it might explode. It’s such a small thing to hold such enormous power over my future.
“Do you want me to come with you or give you privacy?” Nadia’s offer is genuine, leaving the choice entirely to me.
“Come. Please.” The thought of facing this alone feels overwhelming in ways I’m not prepared to examine too closely. I stand slowly and reluctantly take the test as she walks a few steps behind me, her hand on my midback in a silent show of support. Or maybe she’s pushing me forward, realizing I might chicken out if left to my own devices.
In my bathroom, I follow the instructions with shaking hands, then set the test on the marble counter and wait. Three minutes feels like three hours. Nadia sits on the edge of my bathtub, offering silent support without crowding me.
When the timer on my phone chimes, I look down at the small plastic window that holds my future and see two pink lines. They’re clear, undeniable, and life-altering. “Positive.” The word comes out as a whisper, as if speaking too loudly might change the result. Maybe I should try shouting in that case, because the last thing I want is to be pregnant by Leo.
Nadia stands and looks over my shoulder, confirming what I already know. “Okay, so you’re pregnant. Now what?”
“I have no idea.” My voice breaks on the words as I set down the test with hands that won’t stop shaking. “This fucks up the situation pretty badly, Nadia. Everything Leo and I agreed about keeping distance, maintaining boundaries, and this being a temporary arrangement until we find ways to dissolve the engagement without damaging either family is pretty much shot to hell now.”
She speaks softly, offering comfort while acknowledging the harsh reality. “Maybe it doesn’t have to change anythingimmediately. You don’t have to make any major decisions today. You can take time to process this and figure out what you want before you tell anyone else.”
“What I want.” I repeat the phrase like it’s foreign and something I’ve forgotten how to understand. “I’ve spent so many years doing what other people want, or need, or serves other people’s interests that I’m not sure I even know how to want something just for myself anymore.” London was the last time I felt like I had even marginal control of my life and decisions, and even then, my parents exerted financial control.
She reaches for my hand, grounding me with physical contact. “Maybe this is your chance to figure that out. You’re having a baby, Sienna. Your baby. That means you get to make choices about what kind of life you want to build, what kind of mother you want to be, if you even want to have it, and what kind of relationship you want with Leo.”
The word ‘mother’ sends a jolt through me that’s part terror and part wonder. I’m going to be someone’s mother. Someone who depends on me completely, needs me to make good decisions, and deserves better than parents who treat marriage like a business merger. As soon as that sinks in, I blurt out, “I’m keeping it.”
She doesn’t look surprised. “I figured, but it’s always good to explore your options.”
“What if I’m terrible at it?” The fear comes out before I can stop it. “What if I’m like Katherine, using my child as a pawn for social advancement or family gain? What if I can’t protect them from the world Leo lives in, or the dangers that come with his name and his business?”
“What if you’re nothing like Katherine?” Nadia counters gently. “What if you’re exactly the kind of mother this baby needs? Strong, independent, and willing to fight for what’s right even when it’s difficult?”
I want to believe her, but doubt has been my companion for so long that optimism feels foreign. Still, something inside me responds to the possibility that I could be different and could build something better than what I inherited. “I need time to think.” I move back to the living room, sinking onto the couch with the pregnancy test still clutched in my hand. “Leo can’t know about this yet until I figure out what I want, what I’m willing to accept, and for what I’m prepared to fight.”
“That’s smart.” She settles beside me, close enough to offer comfort without invading my space. “You should know that keeping this secret won’t be easy. Leo pays attention to details, and pregnancy symptoms are hard to hide indefinitely.”
The truth of that statement settles over me heavily. Leo notices everything, so he’s bound to notice the changes in my behavior, shifts in my routine, and variations in appetite or energy. If anyone will figure out my secret before I’m ready to share it, it’s him. Or maybe he’ll keep ignoring me. I imagine myself going into labor after some social event, where we’re riding across from each other in his limo, and him not even noticing until the baby cries.
The thought makes me laugh even as tears prick my eyes. I manage to bite back the laughter before it turns hysterical. “I’ll be careful.” I set the test on the coffee table where it seems to mock me with its straightforward certainty. “I’ll figure out how to manage the symptoms and buy myself enough time to make intelligent decisions.”
“What about the wedding? Katherine has it scheduled for six months from now. You’ll be showing by then.”
The reminder makes my head spin. Katherine’s wedding timeline assumes a pregnancy-free bride who can fit into whatever dress she selects and can smile through endless public appearances without worrying about morning sickness or fatigue. The entire carefully orchestrated production falls apart if I’m visibly pregnant.
