Page 57 of The Primary Pest
“My father and all my brothers were military”—he shrugged—“but I have a massive problem with authority. I never followed the path he chose for me.”
“Anton did?”
“Oh yes. Anton was my father’s shining star until he married Katya. She was like you called your mother. Apeacenik.”
Outside, water lapped against the hull. Above them, men talked softly against a backdrop of radio transmissions. Yet he and Dmytro might as well have been the only people for a thousand miles. He drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around them, giving Dmytro more space to spread out if he chose.
“How did Katya change things?”
“She dreamed of America and a new life. Rosy-cheeked children and making a difference.”
“And they got stuck babysitting me. Somehow I feel worse now.”
“You shouldn’t.” Dmytro shrugged. “Your heart is good. I told you, Anton would be proud. Katya too.”
Ajax’s throat burned. “They’d be proud of you too. I know it. I’m sure your daughters are.”
“If they knew what I did for a living before Iphicles, or everything else I’ve done in the past, I doubt it.”
“What could be so bad?” From what Dmytro had offered so far, he hadn’t been an angel. But he wasnotthe monster he sometimes implied he was. Ajax would never believe it.
“I was a stone-cold thug, Ajax. I’ve done things… terrible things…” He closed his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
“What changed?”
“Yulia pulled me from the gutter and washed the shit off me.” He lowered his lashes. “I used to believe I was unlucky because I never got thrown in prison. To the men I worked with, prison was a badge of honor. I thought if I died standing, that would be a win. Yulia made me see that what I was doing would be a stain on my soul forever. I didn’t believe I had a soul, but somehow she found it and shined it up. After, I couldn’t be amudakanymore.”
Ajax grinned. “I’ll bet that hurt like a bitch.”
“Like acid on my skin.” Dmytro resisted another of his smiles.
“That happened to me when someone took my words too far and—” Tears Ajax thought he was over shedding heated his cheeks. “They killed themself. Named me as one of their bullies. It was never personal. Just words I threw into the abyss—”
“And the abyss threw them back.”
“I—I have to do better than that. Life isn’t some game you win with likes and follows. I hate myself.”
“Look. What you did indirectly caused people harm. There’s no denying that. The things I’ve donedeliberatelywould appall you.” Dmytro glanced away. “I look at my girls and imagine that kind of evil touching them.”
“It won’t because you’ll know how to keep them safe, same as you do for me.” That must have been why Dmytro held his phone clasped between his hands, almost prayerfully, whenever he wasn’t tasked with another job. “You’re making up for lost time by keeping others safe.”
“Repentance is futile,” Dmytro deadpanned.
Ajax blinked. “Did you just make a Douglas Adams joke?”
“You caught me.” Dmytro stretched across the foot of the bed like a big dog. Ajax gave him more room. “I joke all the time. You just don’t think I’m funny.”
Ajax met his gaze, and again, something familiar and warm passed between them. He didn’t know what it was, but he didn’t suppose he had to know. He wasn’t in control of his life. Maybe he never had been. Now, especially, he had to let things play out.
“Tell me about Yulia.”
At first Dmytro seemed reluctant to answer. A hollow sadness filled his eyes, and he glanced down again, lost to his memories, maybe.
“I met Yulia in a German bar. Friends took me when I was in town on business for my boss. I was a regular at the worst kind of dives and strip clubs in those days.” He spoke dreamily. “She wasn’t supposed to be a nice girl. She took her clothes off for money and… she did other things.”
Ajax was shocked, but he couldn’t show it. Not while Dmytro was pouring his heart out. He owed Dmytro that much.
“She was older than me.” Dmytro continued. “She saw the things I hid from the world.”
