Page 92 of A Reluctant Boy Toy
“Technically, it’s never too late to do the right thing, so there’s that.” He rested his chin on my shoulder. “You know about this baby naming ceremony?”
“Ariel mentioned something to Molly.” He gently put my good hand in my pocket and held it there.
“Ari and Tag want me to be the baby’s guardian. I have no problem with that, except they’ve asked my ex-wife to be the other guardian. They're doing it on purpose.”
“To make you reconnect with Serena and your kids?”
“Probably.” He kissed my neck. “It’s an honor neither Serena nor I can refuse, but it means coming face-to-face for the first time in almost four years.”
“You didn’t tell me much about her. You said she remarried.”
“Yes, that's why she asked for the divorce. She’s much happier with him.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I walked away from all of them, not just Serena but my kids too.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.”
“I wasn’t…emotionally stable back then. I refused to get help. I don’t know why it was so hard to admit I needed it. I had anger issues. I was actually pretty scary.”
“But you’re not now. Didn’t you try to reconnect when you got better?”
He flushed. “I couldn’t face them.”
“How come? You’re not a coward where your feelings are concerned. Are you still afraid to see them?” I asked.
“Yes, because I put it off. And now there’s this ceremony.” He looked at his empty hands. “They might be better off without me. Serena’s new husband is a good guy. Their homelife is very stable. It’s way nicer than anything I could ever afford. I wonder if I’m being selfish to butt in on that when I have so little to offer.”
“Stone, you are a good guy,” I reminded him. “And they’re lucky to have extra adults who love them in their life. Talk to them about how you feel. Apologize. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“They thought I was a monster, Sebastian. Nothing has changed since then.”
“You big, sweet dumbass.” I wished I could put my arms around him. “You were hurt. They hurt your feelings.”
“I know,” he said quietly. “I’m not proud of it.”
I laid my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat.
He wrapped his arms around me.
“Kids say stupid things,” I reminded him. “They’re curious about how things work. Like your hybrids, they tear open your heart and claw at your nerves just to find out what you’ll do about it.”
“It certainly felt like that at the time.”
“When the kids pushed you away, they were testing you. They wanted to know if you’d fight for them. They wanted to see what could make you give up on them.”
“But I didn’t. I gave up on me.”
“I know that, but your kids probably don’t. Now they’re carrying around all these mistaken ideas because you left, regardless of why you did it. You told me:Dads don’t leave because of their kids.You absolutely have to find a way to prove that.”
“Jesus,” he muttered. “You’re so right.”
“You’re the one who said it.”
“What if they still think I’m a monster,” he asked quietly.
“Then you prove that you’re a monster who did not abandon his children.” Suddenly several birds shot into the air at once. I caught my breath. “What’s happening?”
