Page 77 of A Reluctant Boy Toy
“You ever heard of the spectrum of sexuality?”
“Yeah, yeah. I have. What about it?”
“I had to look it up online. About people who aren't…who don't seem all that motivated sexually, I mean. There's like a whole long list. Asexual, aromantic, abrosexual, demisexual. I think I'm that last one.”
“That a Bruce Willis joke?” He must have read the look on my face because he hastily added, “All right. So you think you're demisexual.”“I don’t know.” Why did people have to label things all the time? “Maybe?”
“Seems like sex is sex,” he mused. “Remind me what demisexuals do differently again?”
“They don’t do things differently. Fuck's sake.” I snorted. “Demisexuals need to form strong emotional connections before they get interested in…you know. Bopping.”
“Bopping,” he repeated. “What are you, twelve?Bopping.”
He had me there. “All right.”
“So, what you’re saying is demisexuals don’t act on immediate physical attraction. They act on emotional connection?”
“Maybe?” I was guessing there. “Everyone always says men are so visually stimulated, but I never was. The guys used to give me shit about that all the time.”
“Okay, so…extrapolate. What if you were to form a strong emotional connection with a man? Does that mean you’d want him romantically?”
“Maybe.” I don’t know why my face wasn’t drawing moths, it felt so hot. “If I was bi, I might.”
“Are you?”
With a sudden, visceral clarity, I recalled Sebastian’s soft, shivering cries when he came.
“That’s affirmative, apparently.” I acknowledged the truth.
“Well, goddamn.” He looked as fondly at me as he did his sleeping baby. “Look at you zig when all of us believed you only liked zagging.”
“It’s not a foregone conclusion or anything.”
“Yet here we are,” he said knowingly.
I coughed. “Where’s that, exactly?”
“We are up in the middle of the night talking about your sexuality. That’s where we are.”
I was aghast. “You ever imagine such a thing?”
“If I had, I’d have brought a voice-activated recorder so I could play this entire conversation back for Ariel.”
“Fuck you.” My face burned. “Is this going to change things between us?”
He looked at me for the longest time. “Now that’s just insulting. What do you think?”
“Yes or no?”
“No! As if.” He grew serious. “But even if it’s true you found someone, you still need to make things right with Serena and the kids. You owe Serena an apology for how you left things with her, and I hope you’ll consider inviting the kids to be part of your new life.”
“You’re right. Of course you’re right.” It wasn’t easy to admit, but I’d gone that far. “But don’t let being right this once go to your head.”
“Remember Saturday. I’ll text you the date and time. Bring Molly and Sebastian if they want to come. Ari has already absorbed them like a happy amoeba, so you might as well.” He stood, unconsciously rocking Artemis as he spoke. “And get some sleep, dumbass.”
“Pot, kettle, big daddy.” I stood. “If you ever need any more of my baby wrangling tips and tricks, be sure to let me know.”
“Yeah, yeah.” To the sky, he said, “He’ll be here all week. Be sure and tip your waitress.”
