Page 16 of A Flighty Fake Boyfriend
Because surely I would use my colorful fake boyfriend as one of many crutches to lean on so I could limp through this event without losing my mind.
I pulled up in front of Epic’s apartment building to find him waiting on the sidewalk surrounded by what looked like a garage sale’s worth of inexplicable junk.
He waved. I parked and got out of the car to ask over the roof, “What’s all this?”
He picked up a suit bag and said, “Tuxedo.”
“Okay.” I went around the vehicle and took it from him. I hung it inside the car next to mine. “And?”
He pointed to each thing, “Snacks, drinks, clothing, pool toys—”
“Pool toys?” Did he seriously expect to bring a giant inflatable unicorn? “Is all that necessary?”
“I can deflate it.” He pulled some plug and the poor thing just sizzled and got smaller while I watched. “I wasn’t sure what kind of car you had.”
“Epic—”
“Don’t worry, it’s not as hard to blow up as you’d think.”
“I—”
“It’s fine. I promise. Pop the trunk. I’ll have everything packed up in a sec. We’ll need the snacks inside on the floor of the back seat where we can reach.”
“What if I don’t allow eating in my car?”
“How do you do road trips without eating in the car?” His apparent shock shouldn’t have made me want to laugh.
“I rarely drive long distances.”
“Oh. So maybe you don’t know how this works, then?” he asked, all bug-eyed and innocent. “Healthy snacks are an absolute must, along with things that are just tasty—like Frito’s and bean dip.”
“You plan to eatbean dipin my leased Lexus?”
“Well, I can’t make you stop every time I want a snack, can I?”
I opened my mouth. Closed it.
“Don’t worry," he reassured. "This is all part of the fake boyfriend service plan."
"But it's only a two-hour drive."
"And by the time we’re back in St. Nacho’s, I’ll have you inducted into the road trip hall of fame.”
I wasn’t sure that was a good thing, but swept along by Epic’s enthusiasm, I let him shove all his stuff into my car.
When at last the sidewalk was empty and my car looked like the Griswolds would be driving it to Wally World, Epic beamed at me over the roof.
“I’m really honored you asked me to come with you, Ryan. It means a lot to me that you think I can be a good fake boyfriend for such an important event.”
“And I’m honored to have you, Epic. Honored and…pleased.”
He got in, and I joined him. “Ready?”
“Of course.” I keyed the engine.
“Wait.” His mouth formed a surprisedO.“I need to sync my phone to your Bluetooth. Can I do that? Or do we need a USB? I made a road trip playlist.”
“You can sync it. Here.” USB indeed. Did he think I lived in the Dark Ages? As soon as I took his phone and linked it with the audio, a cello introduced me to a familiar but elusive overture. “What is that?”
