Page 100 of A Much Younger Man
“Not quite. My mother told me in no uncertain terms that she thinks I’m an asshole. She wants to adopt you, and I’m a dirty old man.”
He chuckled. “That’s rich.”
“Yeah, well. That’s Mom. She likes you. You could do worse than to pick her brain about getting help going back to school. She knows a lot about grants and scholarships.”
“Right. Me and Callie could move into a dorm room, and I could join a fraternity and go to keggers. You’re all dreaming if you think that’s my future.”
“School is only one avenue open to you.”I’m not your future, but you have one.“She’s on your side. We’re all on your side.”
“Thanks, but I’ll take my chances by myself.”
Alarmed, I asked, “What does that mean?”
“I don’t need you on my side.” He sounded like he was gritting his teeth. “I did fine on my own. I’ll do fine on my own in the future.”
“Except you weren’t on your own, were you? You had Tug looking out for you.”
“And look where that got me. I guess I really can’t rely on anyone but myself.”
“Beck, please believe me when I say there are people who don’t want to see you by yourself. We’re here for you.I’mstill here for you.”
“But you’re really not. You see me as a charity case. Another rescue. Or maybe I’m just another casualty of your all-work-and-no-play ethic.”
“According to who?”
“Everyone, duh. I asked around about you, you know. I didn’t just blunder blindly into this. Travis, April, and Lena had a lot to say on the matter, and those are just people you work with. Cooper, Shawn, Jim, they all said the same thing. You’re not interested in finding someone. I should have listened.”
“So should I.”
What followed was a solid minute of silence.
I sighed. “Look, I’ve never dated anyone who wasn’t just as glad to be rid of me a couple months later because I’m a workaholic. Work takes up my whole life, Beck. What I do—especially the volunteer work—means everything to me.”
“I know that.” He huffed. “You know I know that, and you have no clue how I’ll handle it.”
“But it doesn’t matter. The work I do means I don’t have anything left over to give to a relationship. You see that, don’t you?” I waited, but he didn’t respond. “Even if we were the same age, at the same place in life, and you had a career you loved and a home of your own, I would still have nothing to offer you because I’m too tied up in my work.”
“What about what you need?” he asked. “What about what I can offer you?”
I closed my eyes. “You would always feel less than, Beck. I don’t want that for you.”
“Don’t you dare tell me how I’ll feel.” His outrage was just…precious. My God, I even adored his rage. “You fucking suck.”
“I know.”
“I’m still feeding the kittens. You can’t stop me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of trying.”
“Stay out of my way.”
“I will.”
“You’re a total douchebag.”
“I know.”
“I also might actually love you, you fuckbundle,” he whispered.
