Page 104 of A Much Younger Man
I shrugged. “In this case, it turned out to be a legitimate dog breeder who lived on a large property. The neighbors were used to hearing barking. The neglect really only began when she got sick and her son had to help her care for the animals. He didn’t, of course, for whatever reason. It only came to anyone’s attention because the son had a dangerous confrontation with his mother. We’re lucky someone heard that. I’m not sure how it would have turned out otherwise.”
“Some people don’t deserve to keep animals,” Dad complained. “Aren’t there laws in place that keep them from having so many?”
“The statutes vary from county to county here, and up until recently, there has been no national data base that flags serial animal abusers or animal hoarders. Even when there is, it’s not always available to rescue organizations and civilians trying to rehome a pet. There’s a grapevine of course. We try to keep track of the abuse cases filed in court, but that’s not even taking into consideration the fly by night puppy mills who sell online or by word of mouth.”
“I guess it’s like any other crime,” Dad mused. “People always find a way.”
“I’m afraid so.”
Mom patted my arm. “I’m so proud to know you’re out there doing something about it.”
“Rescue and release.” I took a healthy sip of wine because the words had become a bitter and painful reminder of the man I’d lost. “That’s me.”
We ordered dinner—cedar-plank grilled salmon for me and Dad and scampi for Mom—before she decided it was time to probe into my emotional state.
“Now, I know you probably don’t want to talk about this, but I really feel like we should. How are you feeling today, sweetheart?”
“I’m good.” Petulantly, I picked up a piece of bread and buttered it a little too thoroughly. What did I care? I wasn’t trying to live forever. “Everything’s golden.”
“Oh, honey. Did you talk to Beck?”
“I did, and everything’s fine. He’s still stopping by to feed our stray kittens.”
“Well, that’s good.”
“I have no doubt everything will continue as if—”I never lost my heart.“Everything will be fine.”
“Darling,” she put her hand on mine. “Now, this is just a suggestion, but maybe give Dylan a second chance. You weren’t expecting him, and you got off on the wrong foot, but I’m sure if—”
“No.”
“You haven’t even considered it.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
She pouted. “All I’m saying is that he seems like a lovely family man.”
“Lindy said he’s not interested, hon,” said my father. “Let it go.”
“But—”
“Our son knows his own mind, Judy.”
After a few minutes of silence where all three of us pretended to be fascinated by the sun’s final descent into the sea, the waiter came to the table with our meals.
I wanted to love the food, but again, I barely tasted it. I had another glass of wine—absolutely my limit—and coffee with dessert.
My mother got some kind of chocolate extravaganza to share with Dad.
Goddamnit, I wanted what they had.
Sure, I was wrapped up in my work, but Dad had been too—he had been on a goddamn aircraft carrier for the first half of my life. Mom had seemed content to man the home fires and found things to occupy her mind and her time when he’d been gone. When they were together, it was delightful. They had embarrassed the hell out of me back then, displaying their affection publicly and sneaking in make-out sessions when they thought I wasn’t around.
Why had I not been enough for my lovers?
Why had I been such a consistent disappointment?
“Sweetheart?”
