Page 53 of A Much Younger Man
I neededBeck.
I needed and wanted and didn’t know what to do withBeck.
I pulled off the duvet and stripped to my boxers.
Beck slid between the sheets, completely naked.
“Nice.” He swam around in the luxury bedding like a happy tropical fish.
I shivered with the need to touch him and the desire to pull him beneath me and rut like a goddamn stag. I wanted to be on him, over him, inside him.
I wanted to nail that slim sweet body through the mattress again and again, yet I couldn’t move. I had to remind myself we were both consenting adults. I had to give myself permission, even after he’d consented in no uncertain terms and said he wanted me.
I had to let go of my rational mind. Let go.Let go.
“Let go of what?” he asked.
“Did I say that out loud?”
He chuckled. “Mmhmm.”
I turned to him. “I need you to tell me this is okay.”
“It’s okay.” He sighed and stroked my cheek. “Are you always a dork?”
“I’m afraid so.” I scooted a little closer and wrapped a hand around his hip. Our cocks nudged against one another or rather, his met the cotton of my boxers.
“What about this? Still okay?”
“Get rid of the boxers.” He was laughing at me again. “Why are you like this? Wait. Have you ever done this before?”
“Shut up.”
“Treat me like any other Grindr hookup. It’s not that complicated.”
“It is complicated,” I said. “Because it’s you, it’s complicated.”
“This is such a drag.” He flopped onto his back unhappily. “It’s because you think I’m too young, right?”
“No.” I wrapped my hand around his neck and turned him to face me. “It’s because you’re important.”
“Really?” His eyes widened.
“Yes. You’re important to me.”
He smiled and reached for me at the same time I reached for him.
This was happening. We were happening.
I didn’t know how to start. I didn’t know how it would end. But like the music he’d ended with that portentous major seventh chord, my questions hung in air full of promise, and we were about to search for answers.
