Page 23 of A Much Younger Man
I couldn’t bear the betrayal in his eyes. I’d have done violence if Tug was there, which was totally unlike me. “I know that must have hurt a lot. I’m sorry.”
He lifted to his toes and kissed my cheek. “Thank you. You’re a really good friend.”
I coughed to hide the rush of…what? Shame? Embarrassed arousal? “It’s been a really long day. I have to go.”
“I’ll see you out, Lindy.” Cooper met us as we walked to the door. Shawn opened it for me. “We’ll take it from here.”
I made sure Shawn could see my lips when I said, “You guys are much better with people.”
Shawn hugged me goodbye.
“Stop manhandling my man.” Cooper pulled him away playfully then hugged me. As I left, I let go of all the unexpected emotions that plagued me.
Why wasn’t Beck just another guy to me? He had parents, even though going through something traumatic had made them cold.
He heard me call him a grifter. He also said I smelled good. If he was up to no good, I’d feel it deeply. I’d feel it personally.
If Beck had been gone by morning, I wouldn’t have been surprised.
* * *
Despite what I’d said,I wasn’t ready to face my empty house. My cockatiel Rico Suave would be there, but honestly, a bird wasn’t going to be much company tonight. Pie was out because Café Bêtise was closed by now. Though I’d eaten earlier, I was hungry again, so I parked in the clinic’s lot and walked to Bistro, hoping it was open until ten.
I got lucky, and there were still a few couples dining. Some I knew, like Izzie and her boyfriend, Andy, who was one of the local cops. I waved hello. The hostess showed me to a table by the window. I got out my phone and checked my messages, which seemed like the best way to avoid conversation. I liked dining alone, but people took it as a personal challenge sometimes.
The waiter offered me a menu. “Hey, Dr. Lindy.”
“Hi.” Did I know him? His name tag read Jeremy.
He must have seen my confusion, because he smiled. “I brought my roommate’s white Himalayan to you for bladder issues last year. Pinky. You changed her food.”
“Ah, right. Nice to see you again.” I vaguely remembered a fat, fluffy cat with the air of deposed royalty. “How’s she doing?”
“She’s good. Beatrice loves that cat to pieces.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
“You got anyone joining you tonight?”
“Nope, just me.”
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“What’s on tap?” He mentioned several beers, and I picked a regional IPA.
“I’ll get that and be back in a second for your order.”
“Thanks.” If ever a place illustrated life in a small town, it was Bistro. The menu proudly stated they served Yasha Livingston’s artisan breads and Mary Catherine’s pies. Everyone’s business connected to everyone else’s. You couldn’t go anywhere without finding cooperative advertising or at least flyers for all the businesses on Main Street in a rack on the way out.
Jeremy brought my beer, and I relaxed into my chair. I gazed beyond the window at the boardwalk and beach. There was very little moonlight, so the sea was a blank, black void.
Sometimes I asked myself if these lonely, small town moments were how the rest of my life would play out. Would I still want to live in St. Nacho’s when I was fifty?Sixty?
Was I content to be alone forever?
Normally, I’d have said yes, but the things I felt when I was around Beck made that answer feel like a lie.
Anyway, I was never actually alone unless I wanted to be. I could have turned around and joined Izzie and Andy. I could have walked down to the cantina and visited with Jim. I could have gone to the clinic and helped April feed kittens.
