Page 15 of A Much Younger Man
“Why should I? You won’t listen. Nobody listens.” He rose and gave Callie’s leash a flick. “C’mon, baby. Let’s go.”
“Wait.” I caught his arm. “I understand you love her—”
“It’s not about me.” He pushed me away. “Callie was my half brother, Bryce’s, dog.”
“And your parents said he couldn’t keep her?”
“Bryce died.”He practically shouted the words. “Bryce is dead, and now my stepfather can’t even stand to look at Callie—”
“Wait. What?” My mind reeled. “Your half brother is dead? What happened?”
Beck sank into his chair. “Bryce had acute myeloid leukemia. AML accounts for only about twenty percent of diagnosed cases, and it’s tougher to beat than other types of the disease.”
“I’m so sorry, Beck. That’s awful.”
He glanced away. “About three years ago, Bryce went into remission, and we all thought…I guess we let ourselves believe the danger was over, you know?”
I got up to get him a bottle of water because I couldn’t bear the gut-level despair in his eyes.
“I’m the one who got the dog for him. When he was sick, we had to be so careful of germs, and he didn’t have much of a life. I mean, he did. He had the three of us and all the medical personnel. He made friends with kids in the oncology ward. But he didn’t really get to play in the park, or run, or do Boy Scouts, or hang around with school friends. He was in pain. He had to live like that for so long.”
I nodded that I understood.
“When he went into remission, I asked Mom and Roger if I could get Bryce a dog, and they said they thought it was a good idea. And it was. Bryce loved Callie. He spent every free minute training her and playing with her. He and Callie had two and a half good years together. Then some tests came back fucked up. He didn’t make it.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Not just mine. For a long time, Callie was devastated without him.” He took a deep breath through his nose. “The last thing he said to me, the very last thing, was ‘take care of Callie.’”
“But then your stepfather said you couldn’t keep her?”
He nodded. “He couldn’t stand to even look at Callie. Or me either, I guess. We’d never really gotten along. I was still there, but his son died. It wasn’t hard to see that every time he looked at me, he wished it was me.”
“What about your mother? Surely she’ll want you back, even with the dog. She’s had plenty of time to think about things. She’s probably worried sick.”
“I don’t think seeing us is any easier on her, although I doubt she wishes I’d died. She says I’m an adult, and it’s either the dog or me. I think she’s just numb and doesn’t want to deal with anything anymore.”
“I think maybe you have no choice. At least with your guitar you were making money. Without it…”
He shook his head. “I had ajob,you know. I was going to school. I had a life—well, as much of a life as anyone has when they have a sibling with a life-threatening disease.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s just…chaos.” He frowned as if I was obtuse. “When someone in a family—especially a kid—is so sick, every single resource the family has goes to them. All the time and money and worry. Nobody can focus on anything else.”
“Are you saying you felt ignored by your parents because of your half brother’s illness?”
“No, it’s not like that. You learn to do for yourself because everyone is in survival mode. Mom and Roger couldn’t think about anything else. When things were going well, there was still the next hurdle, the next test, the next treatment. When they were going poorly”—he swallowed—“there was only the next minute. The next heartbeat.”
“I think you must be very strong, Beck.”
He shrugged. “I had to be strong. They needed me. That’s why I assumed I could keep my promise to Bryce. When my stepdad kicked me out, I tried to get a place of my own, but any place that took dogs at all told me Callie was too big. Anywhere I could afford, you could only have small dogs. Fifty pounds, max.”
“I’m aware of the problems inherent in trying to rent with a pet.” I’d helped people rehome dogs and cats when they couldn’t find rentals that would accommodate them. Some assholes simply left their pets on the street and drove away.
“I couch surfed for a while, and I got friends to watch her for me while I worked, but I couldn’t do that forever. I was out of options.” Beck swiped the hair out of his eyes. “I ended up playing on the street for cash, sneaking Callie into cheap motels when I could still afford it, and sleeping rough when I couldn’t. But it was dangerous, and I was so scared. That’s when Tug came along.”
“Tell me about Tug.” Why wasn’t I calling the sheriff’s deputies to come out and take a statement instead of being a nosy fuck? It would have been so easy to let Beck be someone else’s problem, but I couldn’t make myself do it. I wanted to be the hero, even though I knew it was naïve, and I’d probably get played.
