Page 127 of My Cowboy Freedom
Did I love him? I would. I knew I would, if only I had the time to fall all the way.
“Okay.” We smiled at each other.
He sat up, completely at home in his nakedness. “You should eat.”
“Yeah.” I took a big bite out of my sandwich while he opened my Coke. I took it, thanking him with another wink.
“Drink lots of water too,” he reminded, resting his head on my thigh. “Not just coke.”
“Sure.” While I ate, I traced the tats on his chest with my fingers, the wordGórrion. More birds. “Your ’Nando was the birdman of Texas, huh?”
“His nickname is Crow. He used to say he got it from stealing fish right out of other dudes’ nests, but that’s not true. Folks called him that on the street too. Before. Since he was a kid. He never said why.”
“Fish?”
“New cons.”
“So this Crow...?” When Sky tensed, I changed my mind about asking. “I don’t need to know what he was to you.”
“He’s nothing to me anymore.”
“Fair enough.” Sky’s expression worried me a little. He’d gone blank. Emotionless. It was like he was mulling something over, and when he was done, he shrugged.
“But you should probably know what I was to him.”
“All right.” I traced over the barbed-wire tattoo on his wrist. He laced our fingers together, still pensive. “If you want to tell me.”
“I did for him,” he said simply. “Like a wife. Got his mail. Picked up his dry cleaning. Stood against his enemies and sucked his dick. When Papi said bend over, I bent over. Didn’t matter who wanted my ass. If Papi got something out of it that was enough for me. I got to set the rules. No barebacking. No violence. No second chances if you fuck up the first one.”
I reacted like you’d expect. Sounded like slavery to me.
“What did you get in return?” It was hard keeping judgment out of my voice. I didn’t know if I succeeded.
“I got out in one piece,” he said woodenly. “Mostly.”
I exhaled slowly. His hand gripped mine too tight to be comfortable.
“’Nando’s gonna die inside and I’m yours now.”
His eyes glittered in the candlelight. He kept them open while I studied him. Tested the truth of his words against what I knew to be true about him.
God, he was so strong.
Way stronger than me.
To honor his unflinching honesty, I took my time responding.
A man capable of that kind of raw honesty didn’t need me to say the first thing that came into my head. He needed me to say therightthing.
A long time passed before I simply repeated his words.
“Now you’re mine.”
He smiled at that. A wide, white slash in his stubbled face. “And you have to let me do for you. Whatever you need. Okay? You just tell me.”
“All right.”
“’Cause you have to eat regularly and make sure you get enough rest. I read that on WebMD. And you need to take your meds on a fixed schedule. I can help with that. I used to work in the infirmary. I can keep a chart.”
