Page 147 of My Cowboy Freedom
“We will have no layabouts in this family.” He turned and left the room.
Wait. Am I still in this family?
My mother and I stared at each other.
I didn’t know what I thought would happen. Or hoped.
I guess maybe I wished she’d smile. Or that we could hug and make up. But it wasn’t like I’d broken a vase or tracked mud on the floor.
“I know why this is hard,” I said quietly. “You don’t want anyone to know you gave birth to an abomination.”
“Don’t say that.” Stung, she took a deep, shuddering breath through her nose.
“Why not? It’s true. I got hit by lightning and you think that changed me. It did. It made me realize I only have one life to live. I’ve seen how quickly a life can end. I want to hold the people I love closer than ever before. It makes me grateful for every minute of every day.”
“It made you turn your back on the church.”
“Yes,” I admitted. “I suppose I have turned my back on the faith. But I haven’t turned my back on my family. I won’t, unless you force me to.”
In her eyes, I was destroying myself.
For one single, awful moment, I let myself wonder if she might be right.
But no.
I knew who I was and even if she despised me for it, I owed it to myself to live my life authentically and without fear.
She stared at me for a few seconds. I figured she was memorizing my face. I wasn’t sure I was going to ever see her again. I did the same.
Then she ghosted quietly from the room.
Maisy whined.
“It’s okay, sweetheart.” I picked her up and sat with her on my lap. She calmed down after a few minutes.
It took me a whole lot longer.
