Page 48 of Hupotasso
“Oh, there was something,” she laughs harshly, rising and walking to the window to stare out as she speaks. “I could ensure I never bore another.”
I wait interminable minutes for her to go on.
“You see, the only time we’re free from hupotasso is during our pregnancy. The ONLY time. After my daughter was taken from me I vowed I would never bear another child for the bastard who held me here. But in order to fulfil that oath I needed to get pregnant one more time…”
“I don’t understand…”
“I didn’t know about the templates when I gave birth to my beautiful girl,” she goes on as though she hadn’t heard me. “She was three when my husband ripped her from my arms. It was much, much later, when I learned why. But in between time, I lost my mind. I screamed and ranted and pulled my hair out and attacked anyone who crossed my path. When that didn’t work, I tried to kill myself. My husband, in his infinite wisdom, decided the only thing to do was render me catatonic. Over the following year I only saw him on the evenings he came to rape me.”
I gasp, but she goes on.
“Naturally, I became pregnant, and his grip upon my mind was gone once more. He kept me prisoner still, but I was smarter then. I played sane. I played nice. When I heard that one of his mistresses had birthed twin daughters I begged him to let me keep them to assuage the pain of losing my own daughter. I told him I’d stop being crazy if I could keep them. That I’d happily bear him his heir, and more. He agreed. I don’t know why — it was the only kind thing he’d ever done for me. He let me keep them, although he insisted they stay in the kitchens and be treated as staff.”
“So…” I frown.
Once more she goes on before I can formulate my question.
“On the surface I pretended to be content. But underneath I planned, and I schemed,” she whispers. “And on the night Falcon was due to be born, just as he began to exit the birth canal, I used a knife I had concealed under my pillow to stab myself multiple times in the stomach, chest and heart. Stab, stab, stab,” she murmurs.
“Oh god, Eleanor.”
I walk to the window to stand beside her, my eyes flicking down to my wrist. Hadn’t I’d briefly considered exactly the same escape route?
“The bite offers immortality, immunity to disease and ageing, but we human wives can still die through accident or misadventure. As you can see,” she goes on, her voice flat. “I didn’t die, unfortunately. But all was not lost, for what I did do was ensure I could never carry another child.”
“But…Viper?”
“Is the son of my former husband’s mistress, who also happened to be my daytime companion,” she shrugs. “I didn’t care that they slept together. I loathed her, of course, just as you’d loathed Caroline. But every night he spent with her was one less I had to be with him. I never told anyone about Viper while my husband was alive because my tongue was tied. I never knew why he kept this bastard and dispensed with all the rest. He didn’t say. And after his death I decided it didn’t matter. Falcon was the heir and the most perfect little boy anyone could wish for. He loves Viper for some reason. I never told him they were only half-brothers. It makes no difference. Wouldn’t you agree?”
She turns to me and meets my eye.
“You know what I think about Viper,” I scowl, “but you have my word. I won’t reveal what you’ve told me.”
“Thank you, I knew I could rely on you, Angie.”
“No,” I shake my head. “You can’t. Not if this future awaits me and any daughter I might have. Why do you even bother telling me to have patience, to let your vampire son grow to love me? Why convince me that deep down he does love me when everything he says and does shows the opposite? Why promote any of this? Love or no love, why the fuck would I want to stay married to someone who’s going to take my daughter and allow her to be used as nothing more than a flesh coat?
“Why? Because I love my son. I want what’s best for him. I want him to reach his potential to be agoodman. With a good woman by his side, a kind woman, one with values who could show him how to love I knew he’d eventually have a reason to stopallthese terrible rituals. That’s why I went to all this trouble to findyou.”
She stops suddenly and clamps her lips shut.
“What?”
“Nothing. I just meant why he went through all the trials of The Games, why you both did.”
“No,” I shake my head. “That’s not what you meant at all.”
I say nothing as she closes her eyes and buries her face in her hands.
My knees feel weak.
“Eleanor? Tell me you weren’t the one who rigged The Games and got me in? Please. Tell me you’re not the reason he hates me?”
“Oh, Angelina.”
“No! You knew! You knew all along why my marriage wasn’t working. You didn’t need to ask me because you knew. All this time.”
“My dear, I’m so sorry. It wasn’t meant to turn out this way. He was never meant to find out. You know what he’s like. So hard-headed, so independent. He had to think his choice was his alone. And I had to hope he’d make the right one — which he did. You were going to win, just as you did, by winning his heart. But that Spider…. I don’t know how it happened; suddenly there were questions being raised, suspicions being acted upon. It all began to spiral out of control. All I could do was hold fast to the knowledge that if he followed his heart, he would follow you.”
