Page 49 of The Dark Rises
“Only about thirty minutes,” she whispers. “But that’s the longest a single warrior outside of the cadre has held out against Theron and his two swords. It’s quite remarkable how much progress Rivan’s made over the last couple of weeks.”
“He spends enough time in here,” I remark with a wry smile. “Solandis told me he was once the greatest warrior of the Fae. Until Nyssa made him a prisoner.”
She swings her gaze to me. “You need to stop feeling guilty. It’s not helping you or him. You set him free. It’s up to him to make his life what he wants it to be. That’s how it is for all of us.”
She waves a hand at me. “Look at you. Once you had your freedom from Leandra, you blossomed. The crown chose you fora reason and look at all you accomplished in such a short time. Here you are at a crossroads again, and I have every faith you’ll forge your own path forward.”
My eyes water, and I reach over and hug her tightly. “Thank you. I needed to hear that today.” I follow her gaze to the men. Maybe it’s time I ask Rivan what he wants.
Ten minutes later, Theron calls a halt to the match. “You’re flagging. Take a break.”
Rivan doesn’t even question the cool order. Sheathing his sword, he picks up a bottle and gulps half the water down. As he lowers it, he spots me sitting by Arden and hesitantly makes his way over.
“You’re looking better,” he states, scanning me from head to toe. “How are you feeling?”
I hold up my wrist and show him the bangle. “Evren sent it to me. It stops me from turning into a monster.” Well, this is awkward. Hurting from the distance between us, I stand and look up at him. “Can we talk?”
He walks over to the corner, and I follow.
“According to Arden, only the cadre can hold out against Theron in a sword fight. She’s impressed with your skills, and that’s a lot coming from her. She lives and breathes warrior,” I say with a grin.
He blows out a relieved breath. “I thought… Never mind.” His smile is rueful. “Frankly, I was glad he called a halt. My arms were killing me. Damn Fae is a machine.”
“All this training,” I begin. “What do you want to do after this? Kill Brixton? Fight with the Water Fae? Lead the Fire Fae?”
He shakes his head as if he can’t believe I’m asking him these questions. “I won’t know until I’m done.”
“How will you know you’re done if you don’t have a goal?” I ask, genuinely wanting to hear his answer. Is this going to takedays, months, or years? Does he want me to wait, or is he even thinking about us?
He gives me an obstinate look. “Why does it matter?”
A tear slips down my cheek, and I angrily brush it away. “I care about you more than I ever thought possible. More than anything, I want you in my life. Warrior or not. It doesn’t matter to me. I’ll support whichever path you take. As your friend, I want the best for you.”
Amber eyes glow brightly when he stares down at me.
“But I won’t wait for you. I don’t want my life to be in limbo. For almost a thousand years, I allowed Leandra to dictate my every move. Never again. Being queen showed me how to take risks and trust in myself,” I explain, trying to get him to understand why I won’t wait.
Pushing through the pain, I make myself finish. “I’m moving forward. Either step up and be in my life or tell me it’s over.”
Angry and hurt, he snarls, “You don’t understand. I need to get stronger. You keep saving me, but it should be me saving you. I need to be the warrior who can stand proudly by your side. Until I am, I can’t make any promises.”
“Out of all the people here, I understand you the most. You’re a survivor, which makes you a warrior in my book,” I remind him, trying to tamp down my anger, knowing it won’t do any good. “Look, I’m not asking you to stop training. I’m asking you to makeusa priority in your life.”
He laces his fingers together and places them on the back of his head. Staring up at the ceiling, he says nothing. I don’t know whether he’s thinking or avoiding. I wait for him to say something, but several minutes pass in silence.
Men can be such idiots.
“We should know Leandra’s location in the next few days. Once we do, we’re going after her,” I tell him. “The window for you to decide is closing. Barring death, I’m getting my life back.”
The tic in his jaw jumps, and his stares down at me, his eyes full of thoughts and emotions, but he remains silent.
I let him get one good look at my face. I’m serious. This is our last chance.
Madoc’s standing behind me when I turn around. There’s a proud gleam in his eyes that would normally make me smile with pride, but I’m irritated with him, too.
I walk right up to him. “You need to tell me when you’re leaving and how long you’ll be gone. If not, I worry, and worrying gives me wrinkles. Got it?”
He raises an arrogant eyebrow, but to my surprise, he gives me a quick nod. “Got it.”
