Page 76 of The Light Falls
I hold it open in front of him. “Want to put it to the test? Close your eyes and think of what you want to eat. Now, reach in and pull out the item.”
A small smile lifts the corners of his lips, but he plays along. Reaching in, he pulls out a bowl of ice cream. He opens his eyes and laughs. “It worked.”
Waving a hand, I create a blanket and lay it on the grass. I sit down and cross my legs. With the sack in front of me, I close my eyes and reach in several times. Every time I pull something out, I hand it to him to set on the blanket around me. Finally done, I open my eyes to see fruit, cheese, crackers, tiny sandwiches, and an assortment of chocolates. And, of course, Rivan’s bowl of ice cream.
I laugh at the look on his face. “Some of us need more than a bowl of ice cream, although I applaud your decision to eat dessert first. It’s certainly hot enough out here.”
With precision, I stack cheese on a cracker and pop it in my mouth. Cheeks full, I enjoy the simplicity of it and the moment. “Mmm.”
He leans over and wipes a crumb off the corner of my lip. “You look like a chipmunk.” When I raise an eyebrow, he motions to the tree. “They scamper about the trees, building nests and storing nuts. In order to transport large amounts of food, they use pouches in their cheeks to carry it to their den.”
“Are you comparing me to a rodent?” I ask, wrinkling my nose at the idea.
“A very cute one,” he answers with a laugh. “You didn’t have those in the Underworld?”
“There aren’t many forests, but if you find yourself in one, don’t encourage anything in a tree to come down and be your friend,” I reply with a warning. “It’s more likely to eat you.”
He finishes his bowl of ice cream and reaches for a piece of fruit. “Thank you for letting me go see the phoenix. The hellhound was right. There are thousands of them. Not just phoenix, but other Fire Fae who have replenished their numbers since the war.”
I look over and find him staring at the waterfall. “Did you find any answers? Your family?”
A faint smile lifts his lips. “I saw my sister and her daughter. I’m an uncle.” He pauses for a second as if this is the first time he’s voiced the thought out loud. “My sister looks so much like my mother. It’s uncanny. I thought it was her for a second.” He chuckles. “And her daughter looks a lot like Aeris did at that age.”
“I’m guessing you didn’t see your mother?” I ask him.
“No. My father kissed another woman goodbye that night,” he states with a catch in his voice. “Tiernan offered to reach out to a friend, but it’s too risky. Brixton isn’t the kind of man you want to be caught by while spying on him.”
He wraps his pinky around mine. “I’ve spent so many years here. I don’t even feel like I exist outside the palace. Seeing the phoenix reminded me of who I used to be. Someone fiery and brave and passionate about everything. I had so many ideas my mind couldn’t contain them all. Here… I feel empty.”
A tear falls down my cheek. “She took so much from you. I don’t understand her hatred of you or the complete disregard she had for anything outside her own ambitions.”
His voice is hoarse when she responds. “Her biggest fear was losing her crown and death. Her insecurities would overwhelm her, and she would rage against everyone in the palace. One day, she tore into me until I ceased to exist. It shocked her. Until I regenerated in front of her eyes. In that moment, I became the symbol of her fears.”
I slide my hand into his. “This morning we learned from Estrella that Nyssa had her parents assassinated so she could take the crown. It makes sense that those two things became her biggest fears. A demon of envy plays upon people’s need for items of status, and their biggest fear is losing the envy of those in the demon community.”
He shakes his head. “I thought I knew the worst of Nyssa, but she continues to top herself.” His eyes peer into mine. “What is your biggest fear?”
I think back to the day I accepted the crown. “I thought I was a fraud accepting the crown because I knew nothing about being a queen. Or being a Fae, really. How was I going to rule the people? Honestly, I don’t think anyone knows. You make one decision, then another, and another. It’s like anything else in life.”
I stop to look across the water at a tiny, beautiful little creature. One of the gossamer threads inside me pulls tight, and it looks up at me.Water sprite.She drops into a curtsy and whirls around in a flurry of light. Flying around the water, she hovers directly in front of me for a second, then zips off. I smile.
I look over at Rivan, who’s staring intently at me. “My biggest fear now is not making the right decision.” Snatching up the treaty, I hand it to him. “Read sections four, five, and six.” While he reads, I pull out a bottle of water from the sack and take a long drink.
He finishes a moment later. “I never thought this day would come.” Uncertainty and fear strain his voice. “If you do this, what will happen?”
I adamantly shake my head. “This is the right decision. No matter the consequences. You sacrificed more than anyone. It’s time to find yourself again. To find the fire and passion you lost. To fill your head with ideas and hope for the future. To find a love like the one you shared with Sima. I want all that for you, and I have the power to do it.”
Why do I so desperately want to be with him on this new journey? To see his face and hear his voice strengthen and fill with his old confidence? To be the love he finds again. I stare at this beautiful man who gave so much and find the resolve to follow a different path… without him.
With the pen, I amend the treaty and release Rivan from all debts and reparations owed to the light Fae, Nyssa, and her court, and return his freedom to him. I make several copies and give one to him. The others I send back to the vault and to my hiding place in the Underworld. Yes, I have severe trust issues.
He stares at it for a long time. “Thank you. This means everything to me. But I can’t help but wish we could meet in another life. Far away from here. In a different time.” His eyes flick to the hat I’m wearing.
I look at the hope in his eyes. “I can’t help who I am, and I don’t want to change myself for another. Not even for someone who fits me like you do. We have today. All the tomorrows are yours. Go find yourself again. Even if that means we end up on opposite sides of a war. I will never regret giving you your freedom or calling you my friend. Maybe if we wish hard enough, we will find each other in another place and time.” Tears roll down my cheeks, knowing how much I’m going to miss him.
He pulls my back against his and places his cheek on mine. Wrapping his arms around me, he holds me tight while I let the tears fall. “I’m going to miss you, too.” The warmth inherent to his nature seeps into my bones and soothes me.
My fingers intertwine with his, and I capture a memory of our hands clasped tightly together. When have I ever wanted to do something so innocent with another? Yet, being around him, I find myself reaching for his hand every time. A link to connect us both.
