Page 102 of Lethal Vengeance
“I’m going to grab a shower,” I tell him. “Why don’t you go play with your toys, and when I come back, we’ll eat pancakes, okay?”
“Zane,” Sterling’s voice snaps out.
In the kitchen, Zane puts down the whisk and comes into the living room. After a glance at Sterling, he moves over to Gabriel and asks him about the cartoon characters on the TV.
Sterling grabs my hand, pulls me out of the living room, and up the stairs. “Tell me what just went through your mind downstairs. Please. I want to understand. One minute you’re warm and laughing with him, and the next, you’re backing away.”
I jerk my hand out of his and start walking toward my bedroom. “I don’t owe you any explanations. He’s my nephew.”
He steps in front of me. “Actually, you do. You put him in my arms and told me to take care of him. I don’t want to see him hurt. Just tell me what it is. What are you afraid of?”
I sigh. “I want what’s best for him. And that might not be me. He should be in a good home with parents who didn’t murder his family.”
His head shakes back and forth for a minute. “That’s not all of it, is it? There’s something else. When you look at him, you get a pained expression on your face.” Like a light bulb going off, his big brain figures it out. He steps forward and takes my hands in his. “Say it, Quinn.”
My entire body starts trembling. “I can’t.”
“You have to,” he states implacably. “You need to say it.” Green eyes drill into me until I finally cave.
“Oh, God. I… I see her when he looks at me. Her eyes. And it kills me. It’s not fair—I know it’s not—but sometimes the pain is too much. It’s worse when the memory of the past collides with the present. Like today, when he stared up at me, pleading with me to pick him up. She used to do the same thing,” I say hoarsely, pushing the words past the lump in my throat.
“And yes, there’s the guilt. Because of me and Armando, he’s an orphan. I know you don’t want to hear it, but the best thing for him might be a whole new life. A clean slate with no hint of the past. Think about it. Please,” I urge him. “I can see you’re getting attached to him. And the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
He heaves a sigh and pulls me in tight. “I may not like the idea, but I’ll think about it. And I want you to really think about what it means for him. Just don’t make up your mind yet, okay? Promise me.”
The pain in his voice makes my heart ache. “I promise.” I wrap my arms around him and squeeze tight.
He wraps his body around me, cocooning me from the world. “Do you have a picture of Sophia at that age?”
“Yes.”
“Would you send it to me? I’d like to see the resemblance,” he asks hesitantly.
“I’ll text it to you,” I promise him. Easing back, I look up and see the troubled expression lingering on his face. “I’m going to take a shower.”
As soon as I enter my room, I strip off my clothes and step into the shower. Tears cascade down my face. The thought of hurting either of them is tearing me up inside, but so is the thought of Gabriel learning his history. And, if I’m being honest, I don’t know if I can bear to be around him because of her. The decision doesn’t have to made today, but the longer it takes, the harder it’s going to be for everyone.
I drag myself out of the shower, dry off, and wipe my face. Before I go downstairs to get pancakes, I text several pictures to Sterling.
Gabriel’s sitting at the island eating when I come down. His mouth full, he grins. “Panmfscakes.”
“Pancakes,” I repeat his muffled word. “It looks yummy. Zane, can I have some delicious pancakes?”
All four men are gathered around Sterling’s phone, looking at the pictures I sent and comparing Sophia to Gabriel. A look of astonishment on their faces.
Zane walks over and hugs me. “Pancakes, coming up.”
Gabriel howls. “Kiss! Kiss!”
Zane’s face reddens. “Gabriel had to give me a kiss for his pancakes.”
The whole kitchen stops moving, as if the very house is holding its breath.
I tilt my head. “I see. A kiss, huh?” I look at Gabriel, who gives me a serious nod. “Where did you kiss him?”
Gabriel laughs and puckers up his lips.
I crook my finger toward Zane to get him to bend down. “One kiss for pancakes.” Capturing his lips with mine, I kiss him slowly, giving him time to pull away.
