Page 109 of Lethal Vengeance
Her words hit hard. It gives me hope that Gabriel and I could stay together, and that he would understand when he got older why I killed them.
She grabs my phone and puts in her number. And Henley’s too when she sees the paper I’m clutching. “Go. I can tell you need to think. Call me if you want to talk.”
In a daze, I leave.
47
STERLING
Margot throws her arm around Quinn, and they turn in a circle to view the warehouse. When they start to face my way, I quickly type nonsense on the keyboard. Five minutes later, I turn sideways to check on her and she’s gone.
Damn it.
Shoving my laptop into my backpack, I scramble to catch up with her. Her conversation with Margot looked serious, and I hadn’t wanted to interrupt. It made me feel better to see her talk to someone. Maybe Zane’s plan worked.
“Quinn!” I shout, seeing her down the street. When she doesn’t turn, I hurry over to my car and get in. The street leading to the warehouse is long, and it only takes me two minutes to reach her. Rolling up beside her, I stop the car and get out, but she doesn’t even look at me.
In a few strides, I reach the sidewalk and grab her elbow. She comes out of her daze swinging. Blocking the fist heading toward my eye, I grab her wrist and wrap it around her body, locking her back to my front.
“Bloody hell, Quinn. Stop fighting. It’s Sterling,” I relay over and over until she hears me.
With a shudder, she stops fighting. “Damn it, you scared the hell out of me,” she curses.
I lay my chin on the top of her head. “I called your name several times. You must have been thinking pretty hard.”
Her body sags against mine. “I was… am. My mind’s been trapped in this whirlwind for a week, and I haven’t been able to see my way out.”
“I know. We’ve been so worried about you, but we didn’t know how to help. You wouldn’t let us in.” I can’t stop the frustration from leaking into my voice.
“I don’t know how,” she says in a small voice.
It hurts me to hear her so unsure of herself, but I refuse to let her hide anymore. “Or you’re scared to.” I turn her around to face me. “To say we care about you sounds so… insipid. It doesn’t explain what we feel for you. We’ve never found someone who fits with all of us. There’s always been an odd man out. You fit so bloody well, it scares the hell out of us, too.”
Her beautiful, deep green eyes look down as if she’s afraid to hear what I’m saying.
I pull her chin up. “We’ll wait however long you need, but we need to know you want to move forward. And if you don’t, we’ll help you get where you want to go.”
A horn blares nearby. This is not the best place to have this conversation. With a hand at her back, I guide her to the car and shut the door. Rounding the back, I stop for a minute to breathe in and out. I hadn’t meant to say all that to her. What if it’s too much?
She says nothing on the way home, and I grip the steering wheel with white knuckles, certain I’ve fucked this up before it’s really began. And there’s still one thing I need to say, and it can’t wait.
I pull into the driveway and park. “Quinn, I want you to know that I’ve thought about all the benefits Gabriel would have with a new family. They don’t compare with what he could have with you and us.”
“I know what it’s like to have my family ripped away,” I tell her, my voice full of pain from that time in my life. “It hurt more than I can express. Everyone told me I’d benefit from the world I was entering. Without a doubt, it was privileged. As the son of a lord, I received the best education money and title can buy. Doors that would have been closed were open to me. It was completely foreign to me and tough, but I did benefit from the change.”
I pull out my wallet and show her a picture of the man I thought of as my father. “I would have given it all away to be his real son and stay with him. He loved me more than life. My biological father gave me every material thing in the world, but he never loved me. You hope the people who adopt Gabriel will love him, but you can’t know for sure. What if he’s adopted and four years later, his parents die? Life is unpredictable at best. With us, he would have four strong men to help guide him and a fierce aunt. And most importantly, love.”
“I know you’re still thinking about everything, but I needed you to know how I felt,” I say, looking into her eyes. “I didn’t mean to dump all this on you, but like you, it’s all I’ve been thinking about since you arrived, and I couldn’t hold it in any longer.”
“I’m glad you did,” she whispers. “I promise to think about everything.” Sliding out of the car, she heads into the house.
With one last look at the picture, I put it back in my wallet and punch the steering wheel. Unable to concentrate, I decide against returning to the warehouse. Maybe a drive will help.
* * *
Two hours outside of Miami,in Marathon, FL, I stop to get a beer. This place is a favorite of mine. The sight and sound of the ocean lapping the tiny beach in the back feels like a place out of time. Today, it doesn’t soothe me in the slightest.
I shouldn’t have pushed her. It was the same with my father when he came back from Africa. I felt this need to fix things. Make it all better for him. And I couldn’t. He would smile and pat me on my shoulder and tell me how happy he was to be home, but I couldn’t accept it. When he committed suicide, I fell off the deep end. Thankfully, Zane was there for me. He didn’t try to help. Simply gave me a job and told me to get to work.
