Page 46 of Savage Ruin
Swallowing a few times, I ease him out of my mouth.
“You’re incredible,” he murmurs. “Thank you.”
Phew. I’d only done that a couple of times, and I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out. I guess enjoying yourself is the key. I stand and kiss him on the lips.
“Thank you. Why don’t you give me a moment and I’ll meet you at dinner?”
He drags me into his arms and gives me a tight hug. “See you in a moment.”
When he’s gone, I hurry over and pull out another pair of underwear. Peeling off the soaked ones, I toss them into the laundry. I grin. I didn’t realize how turned I’d get.
I take a moment to get everything packed like I’d intended to do after my shower. It would have taken me forever to pick outfits if Peyton hadn’t helped me. I pull them from the closet and fold each item carefully, then pack them into the suitcase. Done. I’ll add toiletries in the morning.
The dining room table is surprisingly empty. I head toward the kitchen, where I find Mateo and Grayson drinking a beer at the island. “Are we having dinner together, or should I grab a sandwich or something?”
Grayson throws a dirty glare my way. “We’re having dinner together, but it’s just the three of us. Thiago’s getting a shower and packing. We’re going to eat here at the island. Have a seat. Stir-fry will be ready in a few minutes.” His eyes linger on my lips for a second.
I bring my hand up and subtly wipe across my mouth. Nothing. Surely Mateo didn’t tell him. I whisper the question in his ear.
He chokes on his beer. “Absolutely not,” he croaks when he stops coughing. “I would never discuss those details.”
Relieved, I blow out the breath I’d been holding. When I look up, Grayson’s eyes are darting from me to Mateo. I immediately look at my phone.
Dinner is quiet. I’m too nervous to say anything, and Grayson seems lost in his own thoughts. Mateo’s typing a to do list.
After eating, Mateo heads to the living room and I help Grayson clean up. “Thank you for dinner. It was delicious, as always.”
He catches me by my elbow and swings me around. “Is everything okay between us? After the other day?”
Mateo’s voice rings in my ear.Be honest.“You mean after the incredible kiss we shared?” Somebody’s got to bring it up.
He backs me into the counter and cages me in his arms. “Yes.” His voice is ragged. “All I want is to kiss you again, but I know I won’t be able to stop a second time. I know this is confusing for you. Hell, I’m confused. But I promise, I’m trying to work through things.”
“Tell me the kiss meant something to you,” I urge, needing reassurance I’m more than a passing flirtation.
“I care about you. More than I thought,” he admits grudgingly. “But you’re different, Henley. You pull at something I’d turned against a long time ago.”
“What scares you so much about me?” I ask, concerned about the darkness I see in his eyes.
A pained expression crosses his face. “I’m not sure I can be serious with one person again. It almost destroyed me last time.”
My eyebrows flick up. At least there’s a reason behind his need for an entourage. And if there is anyone who understands, it’s me. Change is hard. Letting go of fear is even harder, but at some point, he’ll have to decide.
“I understand, and I don’t want to rush you, but I can’t be one of your ‘beauties’ and share you. I know it’s incredibly unfair, given my relationship with Mateo, but it isn’t what I want for my future. If you need those women in your life, and they make you happy, then be honest and tell me. I’m not going to be angry or throw a fit or anything. We all make our own decisions.”
His forehead leans against mine. “I promise I don’t need them to make me happy. The only thing they’ve ever been is a distraction. That’s it. I’m… it’s me. I don’t know if I can give you what you need to be happy, and I know it sounds like it’s an excuse, but the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I just need time.”
“We all do,” I murmur, feeling the minutes rushing by at warp speed again. My hand slips between us to lightly rub his lips. “I’ll be back in a few days. Maybe the space will help.”
* * *
It’sdark when I meet Thiago in the basement for our lessons. Yesterday, I thought I’d be too embarrassed to see him again, but I’m too tired for it to be an issue. With everything on my mind last night, I couldn’t sleep and decided to get some work done. Based on what I found, it’s a good thing I did.
Thiago’s standing in the arena, his big, muscular body dressed all in black, exuding a menacing air. Something or someone has royally pissed him off.
“You look exhausted,” he barks at me. “Did you get any sleep last night?”
Not in the mood to explain myself to another Santos man, especially one who seems more than a tad grumpy this morning, I raise an eyebrow. “Are we working on the rear choke hold this morning or something else?”
