Page 36 of My Salvation
“What the hell was that about?” Lev strides angrily into the room. “First you are an ass to her, and then you are offering to give her riding lessons?”
Frustrated, I run my hands through my hair to think before I turn to face him. “I’m worried. Both you and Lev seem like you are serious about her, and you just met her. I don’t want this to turn into another situation that blows up in our face. We have enough to handle right now with Thayer out. She is managing his practice and doing well. If something happens, we have to start all over with finding another doctor.”
“Bullshit. You’re scared to live again. Nessa left us three years ago. She has another life. When she left, every one of us threw ourselves into work, and it’s paid off, we’re all doing great. But I need more than work in my life. Lowell does, too.” He stands, arms crossed, scowling at me.
“You know she is leaving after this assignment, right? What then?” Turning my back on him, I look out the window. “I understand you need more, but I think her temporary status is exactly the reason we...you...should find someone else. I can’t stand the thought of another woman hurting our entire family.”
Lev shakes his head in denial. “She’s worth it. There’s something about her I can’t ignore.”
“I agree,” Lowell adds as he strides into the room, and into the conversation. “She brings something I’ve been missing. Before her, I felt like I was living in a vacuum with few emotions. Now, thoughts of her consume me whenever she is away. When I’m around her, I feel more.”
Turning back around, I closely assess their determination. The fierce expressions on their faces tells me they are not interested in my opinion. Throwing my hands up in the air, I give in for now.
“I agreed to give her riding lessons so I could get to know her better,” I explain. “Why don’t we start with friendship and see what happens? It’s all I can do.”
Lev agrees and walks out to clean the kitchen. Lowell dips his chin and strolls out as well.
Kate’s a surprise, and Lev’s right, there is something about her that draws you in and makes you want to stand in her space for a while. It has been so long since I felt even a spark for anyone. While Lowell and Lev often date, Thayer and I avoid women like the plague. Neither of us is interested in feeling that pain again.
Over the last three years, I had spent so many mornings, getting up before the sun, just so I wouldn’t lie in bed and think about Nessa and what could have been. Do I want someone in my life? Sure. Sharing one woman, though? It almost killed all us when Nessa left. To risk another group fall-out? I am not sure we would survive.
Vanessa - or Nessa, as we called her - was in the Army with us. Although not a part of our elite unit, she managed intelligence for our branch of covert operations, so we were often together. One thing led to another, and we all fell for her. We shared everything together. Work, home, and each other. When we decided to get out of the Army a few years ago, she took a job in Washington, D.C., instead of coming to Montana with us. It just about killed us all. We offered to follow her to D.C., but she said she wanted to find one man to marry and have kids. It would be more acceptable to her career and future promotions if she had a single husband, not four lovers.
We had all known she was ambitious, but until then we didn’t realize we were only a temporary situation for her. Given the circumstances, we moved to Montana, and she moved to D.C. We heard last year she had married and had a baby, and while we were happy she found what she needed, it was like sticking a knife in an already festering wound. While most of us threw ourselves into work, Thayer started pushing his physical limits more and more with adrenaline-fueled activities, which is how he landed in the hospital. Falling for another temporary woman would kill our family.
CHAPTER 16
KATE
The next week flew by, filled with patients and a lot of texting with Lev and Lowell, but no dates. They were both busy but would see me on Sunday.
Saturday night, Sarah dragged me out to a country line dance bar for a girls’ night. It had been a hilarious night filled with some dancing, a whole lot of stumbling, and copious amounts of alcohol. I finally got the hang of a few of the dances, but the more alcohol I drank, the less I remembered.
Groaning, I tapped the phone to turn off the alarm. Bleary-eyed, I stumbled into the shower to find my humanity. Standing under the hot spray, I contemplated calling off the riding lessons, but I was too damn curious about Shaw to throw away this chance. Who knew if he would even offer again? Nope, I needed to suck it up and pull myself together. Slouching, I let my head fall against the cool tile.
OK, maybe just ten more minutes, and then I’ll get going.
