Page 58 of My Salvation
Staring at her, I watch as she blushes. “Lunch, hmm. Is that what you’re calling it?” Laughing, I watch as the blush deepens to red. “Is it the actor?”
“His name is Remington Foster, and yes, we’re having lunch.” She pauses and looks at me seriously. “I can’t believe it myself, but we haven’t had sex yet. It’s weird, but we’re enjoying this merry-go-round of continuous foreplay.”
“Hmm, Remington...that’s a sexy name. Go have fun, and a great lunch.” Looking at the roster, I notice we only have three patients this afternoon. “In fact, just take the rest of the day off. I can handle this afternoon.”
“Seriously?” She thinks about it for a second. “Thanks, I’m taking you up on that offer.” Pointing to the hall, she tells me Mr. Dorser is ready for me in Room 3.
Later that day, I finish up the last patient. The office is pretty quiet for four in the afternoon. Walking upfront, I let Paula and Brittany go early, too. Turning to go back to my office, the phone rings.
“Hello, Lockeland Valley Medical Practice, how may I help you?”
“Where’s Paula or Brittany?” a demanding male voice asks me.
“They are not available right now. I’m Dr. Kate Michaels. Can I help you?”
Silence reigns on the other end. “This is Dr. Thayer Bradford. Is Sarah around?”
Thayer?“Hello, Thayer. Sarah is not here either. I’m glad to hear from you, though. I know the guys have been really worried about you. How are you doing?”
“Dr. Bradford, please. While you might be dating my brothers, we don’t know each other well enough to be informal.” His voice is full of animosity. "Don’t worry about me, Dr. Michaels. I’ll be back to take over my practice soon, and you had better be taking excellent care of my patients. Tell Sarah to call me when she gets in tomorrow. Goodbye.”
I set it down once I hear the dial tone. Thayer sounds like a stuffed-up prick. The guys had told me a little about him. Apparently, he comes from an aristocratic family with old money. Based on our first conversation, I can only wonder why they never taught him any manners.
***
HANDING SHAW A GLASSof red wine, I move over to the end of the couch and curl up. Lev had an emergency at one of his restaurants in Helena and asked Shaw to stay with me. While I insisted I didn’t need someone to stay with me, Shaw had shown up an hour later with a duffel bag and informed me he wasn’t leaving.
Taking a sip of my wine, I fiddle with my glass as I stare at Shaw. He’d texted me several times this week to check on me. I wasn’t sure if we were friends again, or if this was another temporary truce.
“So, how was your day?” I ask tentatively.
Taking a long drink of wine, he sets the glass down on the coffee table. “Kate, I need to apologize to you for my behavior at the barn that day.”
Wincing, I try to deflect. I’m not sure we’re ready to discuss that day. Looking at him, I notice the black circles under his eyes.
“You look tired. Why don’t we just relax and watch TV? No need to go into anything else right now.”
Frowning, he continues. “I’m sorry for how I acted. When I saw you get out of Lev’s vehicle that day, I could see you two had stepped up your relationship together. You were glowing. Lev was smiling. It had been a long time since I had seen him so happy. I couldn’t stand it. Part of me was angry that he had found you, and that you were dating both him and Lowell. I’d rather they each found someone than have it be the same person.”
Confused, I wait until he looks at me. “Why? I care about each of them a lot, and honestly, I couldn’t choose between them.”
“Because I wanted you, too.”
“I don’t understand.” I knew he wanted me, physically at least, but I don’t understand why he didn’t want me to care for Lev and Lowell.
“It was like Nessa all over again. We each fell for her, and look what happened? Although it was the opposite last time. Nessa fell for Thayer and me first.” Rubbing his hand through his hair, his eyes are distant as he remembers the past. “Regardless, I didn’t want to enter another relationship where my brothers and I were all at risk for getting hurt again. You’re temporary here, in Thayer’s practice, in Montana. I couldn’t see a scenario that wouldn’t end up destroying us again.”
My throat tightens as tears threaten to fall. “Lev’s told me about your relationship with Vanessa. I get it. But I will not give them up. Every day I spend with them, I fall deeper. Hearing you tell me they are happy gives me hope for a future with them. I haven’t had hope in a long time.” I scrub at the tears that run down my face. “For a long time, I didn’t feel like I deserved to have a life. The guilt of being alive ate at me. Many of my friends and colleagues would never have the chance. Why should I? Lev and Lowell gave me back that hope, along with my sense of self-worth.”
Shaw moves to his knees in front of me. Taking my wine, he sets it down on the end table. Picking up my hands, he raises them to his mouth and kisses them. “Don’t cry, Angel, please. That’s just it. I don’t want you to give them up. It was fear for them, for me, and for our lives. I knew I had feelings for you, too, but I didn’t want things to change. The only way I could be around you was to shove those feelings, and you, away.”
Where is he going with all this? Is he now telling me he cares about me?
“The night you had your accident changed things for me. I kept swinging between bone deep relief that you were going to be okay and terror at what could have been. I was glad both Lev and Lowell were gone, because it meant I could take care of you. Hell, I barely slept that first night for fear you would disappear.” Wiping away my tears, he waits for me to say something.
“Are you saying you care for me? Not just physically want me?”
Squaring his jaw, he dips his chin. “Yes. I care about you, Kate. I want to be with you. I want you to feel for me like you feel for Lowell and Lev. I want you to give me a second chance. Or hell, a first chance.”
