Page 12 of Guilty As Charged
“That’s easy for you to say. I was the koala bear that made your, um…” I trail off.
“My dick is hard.”
“Oh my god.” I’m so shocked he said the words out loud that I yank open the door. “Don’t say that.”
Spencer is standing there with a playful smirk. “You’re a beautiful woman, and I’ve never cuddled before. Can you blame me?”
It’s silly, but my mind gets caught on the word beautiful before I’m able to reply.
“Why don't you cuddle?” He shrugs his shoulder lazily and glances away. Spencer said he liked it, so why has he never done it before?
"It’s not that I don’t; it’s just that I haven’t. This morning was a first, but like I said, I enjoyed it."
"Why didn't you cuddle your other…you know?" I can't bring myself to say girlfriends because I don’t like the thought of it. In fact, I should step away from this whole conversation. “Never mind. I’m going to do bathroom things,” I say stupidly as I go to close the door. Spencer's hand reaches out and catches it to stop me. “Do you need the bathroom first?”
“No, Abbie.” He chuckles as he brings his hand to my face and tucks one of my unruly curls behind my ear. “There wasn’t anyone before you.” He makes the confession then steps back. “I’ll start breakfast.”
Spencer disappears out of the bedroom, leaving me a bit dumbfounded. Then it’s all I can think about as I do my morning routine. Only today it’s closer to my old morning routine. The one where I take my time to get dressed up. I haven’t touched my makeup or favorite clothes in weeks.
With everything that happened with Geoff and the harassment, I had no desire to do anything to enhance my looks. I got no joy from dressing up or looking cute because all I wanted to do was disappear.
Now, though, it feels like I’m rebelling against Geoff and what he did to me. There’s even a part of me that wants to look nice for Spencer. Not only do I feel it's safe to be myself here, but I want him to see the real me.
I put on a white summer dress that’s got little baby ducks on it. It’s one of my favorites because they appear to be yellow dots until you take a closer look.
Originally it was strapless, but I'd added some material to the bottom to make it twirl better and then used some of the leftovers to make straps. It’s all for show because the top fits snugly before flaring at the waist.
After finding my matching hair clip, I pull part of my hair up before adding a few touches of makeup. Once I’m ready, I go find Spencer.
It’s a strange feeling, but I'm missing him. I know I shouldn't because we hardly know each other. Between this and the jealousy of thinking about him with another woman, I know my heart is venturing into unknown territory. Months ago, these feelings wouldn’t have been so scary. I would’ve been excited about the possibility of a crush. Now I'm apprehensive of everything.
I take a deep breath and remind myself that I’m safe, and Spencer is safe. I’m not going to let Geoff and what he’s done to me ruin something really special. He’s taken a lot from me, but I won’t let him take this.
“It smells good,” I say when I enter the kitchen area.
“How do you like your…” Spencer trails off as he glances over his shoulder at me. His jaw slackens as his eyes move up and down my body, and I take a little pride in seeing the desire there.
“Eggs?” I offer, trying not to laugh.
“Yeah.” He blinks a few times before shaking his head slightly. It’s like he’s trying to shake away a fog as he clears his throat. “Um, yeah. Eggs. Right, how do you like your eggs?”
“Don’t tease me. I know it’s childish, but I like them scrambled with lots of cheese.”
“Childish? I would never call you that. Besides, it sounds good. I think I’ll do mine the same.” He winks at me before he starts to crack the eggs. “I love your dress. It suits you.”
“Thanks,” I manage to say without doing a happy dance like the dork that I am. "Can I help with anything?"
"I’ve got it. Come sit down." He nods to one of the chairs at the kitchen island. "How are you feeling today?"
“Rested,” I say dreamily, and I mean it.
“Good. I’m sure it’s been stressful.” I nod in agreement. “You don’t need any more stress, so if you want or need to ask me anything, you can.”
I sit up a bit straighter. “What makes you say that?”
“Part of being a good lawyer is reading people.”
“That makes sense.”
