Page 107 of Alpha Leo and the Heart of Fire
“Still,” she says, resting her elbow on the back of the sofa as she looks at me. Does she realise that her top is just about covering her boobs? Any higher, and I’ll be able to see her underboobs. Not that I’d mind…
“Talk to them. It’s the only way they will get it, and I’m fucking certain they will respect your wishes. Elijah and Scarlett are not unreasonable people.”
“Yet you dislike them.” I frown.
“I dislike all packs who grew up differently than mine.”
“Yet did you know that Mama went through a lot of abuse at the hands of her father? She was so young, and he realised she healed fast, so she became his punching bag, or should I say target for torture… I don’t know the extent, but she suffered a lot. You know, Leo… look around. There are many people who could probably relate to you.”
“Yeah probably… I just…”
I just what? Why does letting it go suddenly feel like it would be easier? I’m tired of the bitterness, the hatred… the distrust… I know what my issue is, and I don’t want to risk it. She moves closer, running her fingers through her hair.
“Leo… I understand that what happened was wrong… but Rayhan regrets what happened. I know it’s not okay and that the damage done will never be reversed, but holding onto that hatred... is it helping?” She asks, her leg brushing mine. I tilt my head, looking at her for a second before staring ahead, refusing to answer. “What are you afraid of?” She whispers, making me tense. A wave of coldness rushes through me, and I frown, reality hitting me hard.
I opened up too much.
“Nothing. I’m afraid of nothing,” I growl coldly, only for her to place her hand on my shoulder, refusing to allow me to move away.
“You just proved that you are by denying it.” I turn my glare on her.
“Don’t push it,” I warn, standing up and turning my back on her. I had gotten too relaxed… what the fuck am I doing?
I walk to the window, staring out at the glittering lights of the pack below. Her scent is fucking intoxicating, clouding my judgement, and I am beginning to regret even telling her about Corrado. That was a secret I should have taken to my fucking grave… but it is too late. I have already told her.
You Don’t Know the Pain
Leo
“Leo…”
She walks over to me, and the moment she touches my back, sending a rush of sparks through me, I feel a wave of calmness wash over me. The fucking bond.
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. You know, growing up, everyone called me a freak because I was born with the help of magic, so they found the word fitting. There were even a few people in the pack who refused to acknowledge me because of it. Heck, some still exist… as I got older, I stopped telling my family because I didn’t want to always cause them trouble…” She sighs, and I do my best to remain calm. Flaring anger rushes through me, and I wonder if that is why she is so cheerful because, inside, she is dealing with a lot. “I know you always say I’m the daughter of an Elite. Although my life is nowhere as harrowing as I’m sure yours has been, I just wanted to let you know that things aren’t always what they seem.” She moves in front of me, her hand running along my waist before she places it on my chest. “It’s okay to be afraid. I sometimes am… like right now. I don’t know how this will work… with this baby… us… what will we tell our child? Why aren’t we together?” She places her hand on herstomach, and that intense urge to touch it once more tempts me, but I don’t.
“We’ll figure it out…” I say quietly. We will… I will figure it out for all of you…
I saw the vulnerability in her eyes when she told me about her situation. Tonight feels like a snippet of the life that maybe we could have… her, Corrado… our unborn pup… she’ll be the mother Corrado will love. Even if she isn’t what I would have expected, somehow, she has won him over, the perfect balance of wild, cheeky, and mature. I reach up, brushing her silky locks back. Her eyes flutter shut for a second as my fingers graze her skin ever so lightly. These sparks… what are they? So unexplainable…
She leans into my touch, her head tilting up slightly, and that intense tension returns. I want her.
Yeah… maybe we will,” she responds quietly.
We fall silent, but I don’t remove my hand from her hair, my thumb caressing her jaw. I know what I am afraid of, but I’ll never speak it out loud. I am fucking afraid of us letting our guards down once more only to be cast aside like always…
“Your nightmares,” she whispers, her heart thundering as she tries to focus. I frown. For a moment, I thought she had forgotten. I sigh, looking down into her eyes which are watching me intently.
“After suffering under Endora, watching her torture and experiment on everyone, it was pretty normal. When I was five…. she began to sense that I was stronger than Marcel was as a child, and so, she began experimenting on me, too. But whatever she was trying to attain wasn’t happening. Her magic never really worked on me as it did with Marcel and the others. I was just someone she never wanted to lose, yet someone she hated… I was only a pup who wouldn’t be able to do any damage to her anyway, for the time being, but I saw it all. Thebeatings, the torture, the dark magic… her sacrificing our own kind… her feeding the scraps of our people to our own, creating the wendigos… it was sick. No one would hear me because those who had a chance to do something… well, they were under her control or too scared to rebel. I was just a fool to think that there was good in this world…” I turn away, wishing I had a cigarette right now.
“There is good in this world,” she replies.
“Is there? Those who I thought were our heroes… our saviours, were allowed to storm into this pack and cause more suffering. I get the reasons, I fucking do. I know the pain when one’s mate is hurt, but then I realised violence is dealt with more violence. Is there a difference between good and evil when those views and beliefs become distorted and justifiable when it suits us?” Flashes of the past cross my mind, and I push them away.
Delsanra Silver… that night when Alejandro and Kiara had broken in, I had seen her struggling to free herself, and so I had secretly unlocked the cell and cleared the escape route for her. She never knew I had helped her back then, and I made sure no one saw me, but I had wanted to help her because she didn’t deserve the torture either. Sure, when I snuck her food, I’d get punished if I was caught, but it was okay as long as I did the right thing. Right? I don’t really know. Right and wrong are blurred into one…
“The cherry on top is that it was her mate who did this. She was someone who, while a fucking child, I tried to protect, although I was weaker at the time. I treated all those in those caverns as my people, including her. I wanted to protect them all… I was seven, and I was burying the bodies of our dead with my bare hands. Endora would come for me, or Dad would take me to her. She’d tie me up, and all I remember is the excruciating pain that she inflicted on me. I would wake up bleeding after blacking out on the floor, and I would just get up and get back to my sorrylife.” I am unable to hide the pain and bitterness from my voice. “Do you know how it felt to drag the dead body of my mother to try to bury her? A body that I couldn’t even recognise after her transformation into a Wendigo?”
She reaches up, cupping my face. Her heart is pounding, and her eyes are full of anger and pain. I am unable to stop myself from grabbing hold of her waist. My own emotions are a fucking storm. I have never told anyone that shit.
