Page 15 of Rainwater
Ellie looked at her mother, her eyes bruised with the kind of pain that Corey knew so damn well. He sucked in his breath, suddenly wanting to take the little girl in his arms and show her that the world wasn’t as cruel and disappointing as her look suggested. He closed his eyes against the rush of memories. His throat constricted. Her father had left her, he realized now. She hadn’t just lost him to death. She had never known him. And the sudden burst of pain and sympathy settled in his chest like a time bomb ready to go off later, when he had time for the rage and hopelessness.
At times he wished he’d never known his father.
Jennifer watched Corey’s face and wondered all over again if he had been hurt and by whom. She ached because it seemed apparent that not one person in this world had ever shown him kindness. She wanted to be that person. Oh God, if only things could be different.
She shook herself out of her introspection. “That sounds great. Doesn’t it, honey?”
Jennifer’s too-bright voice had Ellie smiling. “Yeah, let’s do it.” Ellie tightened her hand in Corey’s.
A few minutes later, Jennifer stood in the driveway watching Corey carefully maneuver the bike so as not to pose a danger to her daughter. Her emotions were raw and unpredictable since this man had stepped into her life this morning.
To be so attracted to a man who was everything she vowed she would never get involved with again was daunting. Yet she couldn’t seem to help herself. Her body reacted every time she saw him. And when he got close to her, he was like a magnet and she was the crazily spinning compass wheel.
Trying to will away the thick knot in her throat, she put a smile on her face as they roared from the driveway. Minutes later they returned.
“Your turn, Mom,” Ellie said, getting off the bike and going to sit down on the stairs to the kitchen.
Corey waited. She could feel his presence in the pores of her skin, so keen was her awareness. She thought about how close she would have to get to him on that machine and almost made an excuse.
But that wild, reckless part of her that had been her ruler when she was a teen resurged and she was suddenly caught in its devilish grip. Before she could change her mind, she settled on the bike.
“Put your arms around my waist and scoot forward more.” Jennifer swallowed at the husky tint to his voice and did as he instructed. Desire grew warm and heavy in her stomach as she snuggled up against his backside, her thighs running along his.
“Tighten your legs, darlin’.” His voice was now thicker and insistent.
This was how he would sound when he was making love, she thought. His voice soft and unwavering. She hesitated, then did as he asked. She felt the tautness in his back as she allowed her body to mold to his. Oh, God, she thought suddenly, this was a bad idea.
The motorcycle flared to life and surged forward. The velvet night surrounded her, and the roar of the engine thrummed through her with powerful vibrations, charging her blood. She felt like a butterfly being released from its cocoon. A surge of adrenaline made her laugh out loud as the wind whipped his hair against her face. The sensation stung but was welcome. It seemed after thirteen years of numbness she was finally beginning to feel. The hot imprint of his powerful male body against her breasts was as heady as wine, and she had never felt more alive than she did now.
She relished the feel of being so close to a man again. It had been so long, so very long. She cursed the feeling, as well. Itreminded her that she was a woman with needs. Needs denied for a long time.
This ride brought back memories of Billy Joe Williams and that wild ride after the prom. Even dressed in a floor-length skirt, she had been more than willing to drive up to Sunset Meadow and neck with him. She’d hiked up her dress and tucked it around her legs and taken off with him on his motorcycle.
Her father had grounded her for a week. He was furious when she came home at three o’clock in the morning, when her curfew had been midnight.
She had tried to explain to her father how she felt. Wild, free, untamed, as if the world were her oyster. Her father hadn’t understood. No one but bad boys understood how she felt.
She hadn’t given Billy Joe anything that night except her lips. She had saved her virginity for her husband. That thought brought back memories of her crazy attraction to Sonny Braxton.
The summer she had been seventeen, the rodeo had come to town and everyone was so excited. Everyone, including her. She had gone down to check things out and had fallen head over heels in love with a brash, brave bronc rider named Sonny.
He was at the top then, full of his oats and no boy. He’d taken one look at her and easily wooed her into marriage, then his bed, and finally impregnated her with Ellie.
Six months pregnant and just barely eighteen, Jennifer had walked into their trailer and found him in bed with a trick rider. She had gone home to her parents, filed for divorce, had the baby alone and then gone to college.
She’d never seen nor heard from Sonny again.
It had been difficult and painful. And now this man in front of her was from the rodeo, too. Well, she’d learned her lesson, and she would not be seduced by the power of a pair of turquoise eyes. She stiffened and yelled in his ear, “Enough.”
Jennifer’s nearness made his whole body ache. The feel of her against his back was like heaven and hell. He could feel the softness of her breasts, was acutely away of her arms around his waist, was branded where her thighs joined his.
When he felt her stiffen, he realized that the ride was over and headed back to the house. A sense of helplessness stole over him. How could he ask her to live with his fear? The constant, unrelenting fear that underlay his very actions. His life was defined by that fear. How could he change that part of his life now? How could he become the man she needed and wanted? The simple answer was he couldn’t.
Back at the house, they went into the dining room and talked about benign things. Politics, the weather, the ranch—anything personal was avoided. In the midst of the conversation, Ellie dropped off to sleep.
“It’s midnight, Jennifer. I should go.” He glanced at Ellie, his face softening. “Want me to take her up for you?”
“Yes. Thanks. She’s getting too big for me to carry her.” She pushed back her chair and gently smoothed her fingers through Ellie’s bangs.
