Page 57 of Rainwater
Jennifer hugged her daughter.
Ellie said very firmly, “I’m going back to enjoy my birthday party.”
Jennifer’s daughter looked up at her, the pain in her eyes gone and she smiled impishly when she saw where her mother’s soft gaze searched. “You like him a lot, huh, Mom?”
Jennifer’s eyes searched for Corey’s shadowed form in the barn and the feeling inside her swelled. “Yes, sweetheart. I like him very much. Now scoot.”
Jennifer went to where Corey still knelt in the barn. She lowered herself down and gently took his face in her hands. “Thank you. Ellie’s been wrestling with the absence of a father every birthday. I think she just came to terms with it, thanks to you.”
His voice hoarse with suppressed tears, he uttered, “Touch me, hold me, Jennifer.”
Her eyes widened, realizing that this was the first time in their relationship that he wasn’t taking command. The first time he was relinquishing control. The knowledge flashed through her mind, and she loved him all the more. She loved him for his open giving, his tenderness, and even his fears and doubts. She realized how stupid she’d been when she was young. When she thought she loved Sonny. This feeling she felt now didn’t even come close.
She pulled him down with her into the hay and very simply touched him by rubbing his back and holding him in her arms.
Corey was comingaround the chow hall, thinking about the day before, remembering how he had immersed himself in the feel of Jennifer’s hands on him, when he stopped dead, his eyes resting on the gleaming black bike sitting in front of Jennifer’s house. She’d had it fixed. Corey was the kind of man who took care of his own debts. He didn’t want to be beholden to anyone, especially Jennifer. He didn’t want to owe her anything. The fury built and he changed direction and headed instead for the house.
He burst into the kitchen without knocking. Ellie was just getting her lunch out of the fridge. Her eyes widened when she saw his face.
“Is something wrong?”
“No.” For Ellie’s sake, he tried to rein in his anger. “I just need to talk to your mom.”
“She’s upstairs changing her bed, I think. I’ve got to go catch my bus. I’ll see you tonight.”
He wasn’t sure he would be here tonight, he thought as he watched Ellie slip out of the door. He charged for the stairs andtook them two at a time. “What do you think you’re doing?” he snarled when he entered her bedroom.
“Changing the bed. It’s something I do every week,” she replied flippantly.
He swore under his breath and stalked across the room. Grabbing her arm, he steered her to the window. “Thatis what I’m talking about.”
“It’s yours, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it’s mine. I don’t want you footing my bills.”
“It was smashed because of me, Corey. It was my responsibility to get it fixed.”
He heard someone clear her throat. “If you guys can stop arguing long enough, I’m afraid I missed my bus.”
“Ellie,” Corey said between gritted teeth. “Go downstairs and wait by my bike. I’ll take you to school.”
“Cool. Oh, by the way, you guys don’t have to sneak around at night. Corey spends enough time in your room, Mom. He should just sleep here. It’s okay with me.”
Both of them stared at her with their jaws hanging open. Ellie smiled and retreated from the room. “See you downstairs, Corey.”
“Damn,” he swore, feeling as if his life was splintering into little bits. He felt pushed from too many sides. Ellie and Jennifer. Everyone wanting something that he couldn’t give. Wanting him to stay, when he couldn’t. He turned to Jennifer, whose shock seemed to have worn off, and he saw the determined slant to her chin, the mulish set of her mouth.
“Jennifer, I told you before. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Can’t you just accept a gift?” she asked in exasperation.
“No. All I’ve ever wanted from the beginning was to leave.”
Her expression changed then from determined to panicked and that was when he saw it. The certainty that if she gave him an opportunity to flee, he would take it. He’d just confirmed herdoubts that when she had his motorcycle fixed, he would leave. That realization finally broke him, the knowledge that she knew and had still brought the motorcycle within his reach. He had to get out of here. The pain in his chest was cresting like a huge wave. He would collapse into a heap on the floor like a child and cry if he didn’t leave right away. The humiliation of breaking down in front of Jennifer had him backing up, shaking his head.
“No,” he growled hoarsely. “No!” He tried to get out of the bedroom, but she put out her hand and stopped the door. His arm slipped, his elbow hitting her in the nose. She backed up, clutching her nose and Corey spun in horror. When he saw the blood, a relentless fist closed around his heart.
You’re just like me, son.
