Page 28 of Rainwater
He brushed past her, his chest sliding along hers, and she heard her own quick intake of breath. She quickly moved away from the door and him, hastily making the coffee while he settled himself down stiffly at the table.
“I’ll go get the aspirin,” she said breathlessly. “Be right back.”
Jennifer found the bottle of aspirin and quickly returned to the kitchen. Unscrewing the top, she shook out two tablets. The smell of brewing coffee filled the air in the kitchen. He must have finished her job for her.
“Better make it four,” he said.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Her hand reached out, but she drew it back. He had said not to touch him.
“Yeah, I’m great,” he answered, the bitterness breaking through his words. “Just great.”
She dropped the tablets into his hand, trying not to touch him. But still, the awareness was there. It crackled between them like heat lightning trapped in a jar.
She wiped her palms on the soft silk of her robe, then went to the counter and poured two cups of coffee. “Black, right?” Her palms were perspiring so badly she was afraid she’d drop the mugs.
“Right.” He must have heard the tremor in her voice because, with a pained expression on his face, he said, “Maybe I should go.”
“No. Please!” She put her hand on his shoulder but instantly pulled it back. “Please stay.”
He stood up abruptly. The chair fell back and hit the floor with a bang. “Damn it, Jennifer. Don’t act this way around me. I promise I won’t touch you again unless you want me to. I’m not some lustful savage who will drag you under me and sate my wild desire!”
She looked up at him, her mouth suddenly going dry. Somehow she had hurt him. Only now did she realize that his actions were not because he didn’t want to be touched, but because he craved it.
She knew what she wanted. She wanted to explore what was in her heart, even though her head told her she was being a bigger fool than when she had fallen in love with Sonny Braxton. Ten times a bigger fool because of what was building between them was ten times bigger.
She didn’t even have to think about her response. In the day since they’d almost made love in the barn, she had thought of nothing else. He would leave. She knew that and suddenly that didn’t matter to her. She wanted him, even for one night. For one glorious night of reckless abandon that would remain with her for the rest of her life. “Corey, what if I want you to touch me?”
He groaned softly, gathering her into his arms and pulling her against his hot, muscular body. “Jennifer, this is craziness. I didn’t want this to happen. I fought against it.”
“What about now, Corey? Are you still going to fight it?”
“Right now, Jennifer,” he growled roughly, “I feel if I don’t have you, I’m going to die. But I don’t want to hurt you when I leave.”
“I can accept that you have to leave,” she lied. When the time came, she wouldn’t cling to him, she wouldn’t plead and she wouldn’t beg. She would just let him go. “I understand that you have to leave. I’ll take tonight, Corey.”
She could do this. She could make love with him and let him go. It would come with a high price, but it was one she was willing to pay.
She could never give herself to a man without giving him her whole self. She couldn’t give herself to a man she didn’t care about.
Whatever he was running from was interfering, and the only way she knew to fight it was to touch him physically, show him in the most fundamental way how she felt about him.
It would mean that she would have to stop playing it safe, but for Corey, she would do it, even if he left. She would endure the almost unbearable pain. She would let him go. A brief affair with him was better than never knowing a passion beyond any other. A passion that would burn long after physical desire was met, if only she could break through his noble attitude.
“I was just passing through. How the hell did this happen? I’m alone for a reason. I’m not fit to be with anyone, but I still want you. I really want you.”
“I want you, too. I want you to touch me,” Jennifer encouraged.
“I want to. God, you don’t know how much I want to. But I can’t.”
“Why? Don’t you want to make love to me?”
“Of course I do. I feel it every time I’m near you. But it wouldn’t work. You’re like the tree, rooted, stable, and I’m like the wind, restless, constantly moving.” He stepped back.
“Corey, the wind does blow through the tree and the tree does bend and spring back.”
“I don’t have anything to give you,” he moaned. “I’ll be leaving tomorrow on the first available bus. You said you would lend me bus fare.”
“I did say I would, but don’t go yet, please stay for just a little while and talk to me. If you don’t want me, I understand.”
