Page 17 of Rainwater
Was he trying to scare her off? Most likely. He didn’t want to explore his feelings for this woman, but already the attraction was so strong he thought seriously of seducing her right here in her driveway, and once a physical tie was established, he could then garner an emotional one.
What the hell was he thinking? He could only hurt her. Hadn’t he promised himself he would never get involved with a forever kind of woman? Jennifer was the type of woman he’d always steered away from, and with an unreasonableness that astounded him, he wanted her. “But you’re a conservative little cowgirl, aren’t you? You don’t sleep around. Certainly not a one-night stand with some drifter moving through town. That would be—” he leaned down and whispered in her ear “—reckless.”
A quivering tingle trickled through her whole body, striking a chord deep down.Reckless. That was what she’d been with Sonny. Sonny, who’d cared more for the rodeo than for her. Sonny, who’d taken any woman he could seduce into his trailer. Intotheirtrailer, intotheirbed where her daughter had been conceived.
Anger hot and burning hardened her heart, and she erected barriers for sheer protection. She couldn’t trust him. Ha, she couldn’t trust herself.
She raised her chin and met his molten green gaze.
“Why are you doing this?” she challenged, dropping her hand and narrowing her gaze.
“Because I like torturing myself. Or maybe because a sweet, beautiful, rich—” his eyes shifted from her face to look up at the house, where he could see the patio and the pool “—Anglo woman wouldn’t be interested in a man like me, so I’m safe.”
“Don’t put words into my mouth and thoughts into my head. You’re only doing this to unnerve me. Why don’t you just get onyour bike and leave? That’s what you want to do, so go ahead. Stop baiting me.”
“I’m leaving so you won’t get a chance to be reckless.” With his fingers buried in her hair, he cupped the sides of her face. “I just want to know if he’s dead. Only a fool would ever walk away and leave you.”
“You’releaving,” she said more contemptuously than she felt, trying to ignore the distracting movement of his thumbs that left a tingling fire over the skin of her cheekbones. It was frightening, this sense of wanting a man she didn’t know. Frightening and powerful. Yet, looking into his tortured eyes, she almost felt closer to him than anyone else.
“I’m a fool,” he said simply, with a shrug of his impossibly broad shoulders.
The thought of him leaving brought back the unreasonable panic. God, she didn’t want him to go, but she surely wouldn’t let him know that. This was crazy, and she thought she’d put her crazy days in the past. Crazy days when she had let Sonny woo her and use her and throw her away.
No matter how much she wanted this man, no one was going to throw her away again.
Her anger at the remembered treatment by her husband lent her the strength to step away from the dark seduction of Corey. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know you.” She clenched her fists, her nails digging into her flesh. She would not touch him. She would not.
His arms dropped away from her and he smiled without humor in the darkness, his face in shadow beneath the brim of his hat. All she could see was his beautiful mouth, and all she could think was that she wanted it pressed against hers.
He sighed a mournful sound that went sharply through her leaving in its wake a sudden aching emptiness. She tightened her resolve. She couldn’t let her heart sway her mind. Hewas leaving. Yet another man who didn’t want to make a commitment. Yet another rodeo rider who would break her heart and she’d only known him for one damn day.You can really pick them, Jen, but good, she chided herself.
His mouth was on hers before she could fend him off. The kiss spoke volumes, the aching sweetness almost unbearable.
Then he hugged her hard and close for a few agonizing minutes.
When he pulled away, his face was ravaged with pain. Without looking at her, he straddled his bike. He sat there for a few moments as she watched him war with himself for composure, for control. It made her feel powerful that he would have to fight himself. Just as she fought herself.
Abruptly he turned and looked at her. “Thanks for the delicious dinner. I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in a very long time, and never by a beautiful woman with fiery hair.”
His words released the heartache that had just begun to stir, and she bit her lip, tasting the intoxicating essence of him.
She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to ask him to stay, because standing here in her driveway, she realized how terribly lonely she was.
But one night with him wouldn’t be enough. She would want more and that want would turn into a raging river of want. An insurmountable river that would only swell and grow with time.
She would want a commitment. She had to have someone who would stay around and be a father to Ellie and a husband to her. No, he should leave. Better never to know how much he could make her feel.
Her resolve was hard-won. Thirteen years of fending off amorous advances would not go for naught. She needed to consider everything in the equation. What would one night of lovemaking cost her?
Too much. Too damn much.
Sonny had hurt her, but this man could bring her to her knees. She knew it inherently. One taste of his passion, the feel of his body, the possession of that body and she would be lost. All the independence, all the pain she had endured would go flying out the window and she’d have to fight to get back what she would lose in him.
“You’re welcome. Have a safe trip to wherever you’re going.” Her voice came out bitter and cutting.
He smiled again that sad, heart-wrenching smile. “I’m going nowhere. You take care, darlin’.”
Her heart twisted at the tired, defeated bitterness in his voice. Her chest filled until she thought it would burst.Please, don’t look so damn neglected and forlorn. He looked so lost that it pulled at something deep inside her, stirring all her nurturing and protective instincts. She had the overpowering urge to take him in her arms and hold on to him until that look went away.
