Page 2 of Priceless
But Raina hadn’t suggested a new day spa or a good waxing. She’d just needed a piece of paper and wrote a web address on the back of the business card she’d found in her purse. I didn’twant to think about what she had done, or had donetoher, atBee Naked.
“If you don’t want to talk to someone, go here,” she’d said, and pressed the card into my hand. “Type this in. You can have a conversation with AI. Tell it what you want from it. You won’t be talking to anyone real, but at least you’ll be talking.”
“Don’t we talk enough?”
“Sisters make bad therapists.”
“And a chatbot would be better?”
Raina had shrugged and headed for her cab. “Better than nothing. And I’ll be off the grid for six weeks. You can’t go six weeks without speaking to anyone. And that will give you some practice.”
“I speak to people,” I’d yelled.
She turned to roll her eyes and blow me a kiss. Then she was gone. It was at that moment I realized that, for nine long months, I’d been using her as my ten-foot pole, to keep the rest of humanity away. She’d screened my calls, answered my door, my emails even. She’d been my shield from a lot more than just loneliness. And now she was gone.
I told myself, for the past week, that I was glad to have some peace again. That the quiet was like a box of expensive chocolates that I kept just for myself, and now I could indulge. But after five or six days, I’d made myself sick to my stomach from it.
Even my clocks made no noise.
I considered buying a new one, so I could at least hear time passing. But then I wouldn’t have my perfect silence when I wanted it.
What was wrong with me?
Baby steps, I told myself.Keep it simple. Stand. Walk. Turn on your computer. Sit. Type. One thing at a time. Don’t think. Just do.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I stood and went to my desk. Once I was on the internet, I typed in the address and waited.
A generic welcome and a little white box.
My first thought came out of my fingers and onto the screen.
This is it, Universe. My one cry for help. Don’t blow it.
No worries. The Universe is here for you. How can I help?
Keep it simple, Laira.
What’s wrong with me?
Sorry, love. You’ll have to be more specific. Give me something to work with.
Long story. This was a mistake. Nevermind.
The little dots started hopping while the chatbot typed.
Giving up so soon? You don’t have to tell me the whole story. Just give me a few highlights.
Highlights? It’s hard to remember any highlights right now.
She didn’t want to share those flashes of good memories she’d shared with her husband, even with a bot.
Fine, then. How about the lowlights? Maybe those are what brought you to me tonight?
It knew it was evening in my time zone. It knew my time zone. Just how much information would it glean from me just by connecting?
I closed the tab and shut down. I didn’t have energy for that crap. I wasn’t going to risk my identity for a little interaction, especially with a mere bot. So, I promised myself I’d go shopping tomorrow for something stupid, smile a few times, make a little eye contact. I’d even make some small talk with someone. Anyone. Just a little. Just to prove that I could.
A long time ago, Raina made me promise I wouldn’t go to bed before seven o’clock. Ever.
